SUB ROSA || JALEX

#1

I don't know how long this story will be, but I'm aiming for 10-15 chapters at least
Tw will be written at the start of chapters
-amber🖤

Alex watched as his teacher handed out their books, finding himself staring at him. Mr Barakat was so attractive. He was tall, much taller than Alex, his hair was dark with a patch of red, which Alex loved. He had a beard, but it really suited him and Alex loved it. He always dressed nicely too. Alex wanted that man. Mr Barakat couldn't be much older than twenty three. That wasn't a huge age gap, as Alex was eighteen now. He was of legal age- which is pretty much all he cared about.

Mr Barakat came to Alex's desk and the boy piped up quickly. "Sir? Could I speak to you after class, please?" He asked.

"Of course, Alex. Is it urgent? Anything serious?" He asked in sudden concern.

"It's.... not that serious..." he shrugged a little. He wasn't sure if it was or not.  It was to do with his school life and how it was getting harder. People were just downright rude and mean, and his home life wasn't great. He just needed to talk. Mr Barakat was his English teacher and they were nearly best friends. Mr Barakat would be okay with him wanting to talk.
Mr Barakat nodded and gave his student a soft smile, before moving on to continue the lesson. Alex worked hard for that lesson, writing notes around the extracts of Romeo and Juliet. He filled his pages with notes, analysis, and alternative interpretations- which is something he knew would impress Mr Barakat.

At the end of the lesson, Alex packed his things away and handed in his work, as did everyone else. He stayed behind until everyone else had filed out, looking up at his teacher.

"What's up, Alex?" Mr Barakat asked as he sat on his desk. Alex pulled up a chair and sat down across from him.

"It's just... I feel like my grades are slipping." He said quietly.

"I can't vouch for your other subjects, but you're actually doing great in my lesson. You're getting As and A stars." Mr Barakat said, in some confusion. "Why do you think you're slipping?"

Alex sucked in a deep breath and sighed it out shakily. He swallowed hard and looked down. It wasn't easy to tell anyone that your father beats you and your mother, or that you get it just as bad from kids at school, or that you panic about waking up the next morning because it's so hard to get out of bed. It wasn't easy to admit that you know you have issues with eating and you'd rather die than eat anything over 100 calories in one go. He sighed again.
"I haven't been having the best of times, right now.." he said quietly. He held his shaking and clammy hands together and fiddled with them vigorously.

"Alex..." Mr Barakat said softly as he got down from his desk. "Alex... You're starting to panic, look at me."

Alex looked up through his teary eyes and shaking breaths. Mr Barakat had locked eyes with him, and he was now kneeling in front of him.

"Breathe, it's okay. In through your nose and out through your mouth." He instructed carefully, "Breathe with me."

Alex did as he said, struggling at first. Mr Barakat began to demonstrate how he should breathe and he copied, needing to hold onto something. He felt like he was going to float away. He gripped onto his own hoodie, which didn't help that much. He felt his chest loosen as he breathed, and his eyes watered in relief. Tears fell onto his pale cheeks and gently trickled down onto his hoodie, creating tiny dark spots. Mr Barakat handed him some tissues and gave him a gentle and reassuring smile. 
Alex took the tissue, wiping his face dry and sniffling into it. Eventually, after a few more minutes of Mr Barakat breathing with him and telling him he was okay, that he was safe, Alex was normal again. Or, he was shaking but not panicking.

"There we go. Better?" He asked with a smile, which Alex returned shyly and nodded.

"Yeah. I'm sorry." He apologised, blushing. He felt pretty ashamed of himself. He was eighteen for fucks sake. He needed to grow up.

"Hey, it's okay... don't apologise, it's not your fault. " Mr Barakat shrugged. "Is there anything else you need to talk about? Anything at all? I'll listen and I'll help as best I can."

Alex though for a moment, deciding not to tell his teacher everything and to just drip feed it to him slowly. "No... but if I need to, can I come to you?" 

Mr Barakat nodded. "Yes. Of course you can, Alex. You're one of my favourite students, I'll do anything I can to help you."

Alex blushed a little at that.