Chapter four
The house was suddenly very silent. I tried several times to sit and work out something that I could I use to teach my classes, but I had nothing. I knew that Daniel and Lily were really nice professors, but if I showed up after all this time away, then they might question the faith they had put in me. I didn't want that, I wanted allies against Mr. Spawling. I hated that man with a passion, but I needed people to side with me if there was ever a confrontation.
By the time Dominic got home, I was sinking into a slow depression on the patio. He took one look at me and knew instantly what was wrong with me. I felt the worry coming from him, but I just didn't care. I missed my old life, I missed Kelly, and I was failing miserably at trying to teach. The mood went darker as I sat there scowling.
“Mia bella, this isn't the end of the world.” He was trying to be gentle. I didn't appreciate any of it.
“It feels like it. Leave me alone.” I turned away from him and looked out to the sea.
“Emma, don't push me away now. You need me.” His concern was like waves of nausea hitting me.
“Go away.” I set my head on my knees and ignored him.
It took him a minute to decide to leave me out there by myself, but he realized that I needed a moment. He left without a word. I knew that because I could feel his consciousness move away from me. I sighed once I knew he had moved.
Tears slid down my face. This isn't how I wanted things to be. I realized that when I wanted a different life when I lived in my small town, it was nothing like this. I sat and thought of my time there. I remembered how it all changed once Mike came into my life- well Mike and my birthday. With disgust I realized my birthday was coming up, and that I would be wed on Mike's birthday. I felt frustrated with myself. I knew in my heart that I was doing the right thing by marrying Dominic, but I also saw that I would always love Mike. He was and is a part of me. I couldn't just walk away from a lifetime of having him with me- even if it was in my dreams. My tears came out in sobs for what I was losing. I was suddenly determined to see Mike before my entire life changed. I would get my life back in order here, have my wedding stuff taken care of, and then I would make a trip to Ireland. Once I had a plan I felt a little more under control. I took a deep calming breath and let myself slip into mediation.
Dom came out a little later holding a plate of pizza and a root beer. I smiled at him. I was thankful for him in my life.
“Hey, you feeling any better?” His words felt like he was testing the water.
“I'm okay. Thanks.” He handed me the pizza.
“I was worried about you. I thought about calling your grandpa, but I figured I would wait a little longer to see if you had collected yourself enough to talk to me.” He shrugged.
