An Honest Lie

Chapter 3 - Ding Dong the Witch is Dead

I feel as though I need to do some sort of evil laugh. Except that I tried it once & my friends were literally rolling on the floor laughing at my failed attempt. They said I sounded like what Barney (the purple dinosaur) would sound like if he were high. Until I master that, I think I will opt for something more subtle.

I stick to tapping my fingers together while sporting an evil grin on my face. Oh who am I kidding; I have to do an evil laugh. Muahahahaha. Well, at least it sounds good when I do it in my head.

My plan is foolproof. This scene that is about to unfold before my eyes will make history. I will remember every detail of it and share it with my children and grandchildren. I'm getting all teary-eyed just thinking about it. This is the beginning of my life. It's like nothing mattered before this. It's almost like a re-birth of some sort. Wow, I didn't know I was so spiritual.

My eyes are getting more watery by the second. I need to get a grip and stay focused. My head is giddy with excitement. I can feel my chest tightening while my breaths become shorter and faster. The tearing has blurred my vision. And what's that high-pitch ringing in my ear?

Oh my gosh. That's a banshee wailing; there's no other explanation for it. She's here to warn me of my imminent death. I'm going to die. I don't want to. I can't. This is wrong and so unfair. My death will diminish any possibility of my parents having intelligent grandkids to brag about.

I was supposed to have more friends before I died. It's going to be so embarassing when Gabby and Caleb are the only ones who show up at my funeral. How ironic that that would make me want to dig a hole in the ground and bury myself.

Knowing my infuriating little brother, he wouldn't miss a chance to humiliate me on my deathbed and get something insensitive written on my tombstone. I can already see it now: 'SHIT HAPPENS' or maybe even 'DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD'. Aw shucks!

Oh no, I didn't make a will. How are my parents going to decide who gets to keep my collection of... wait, I don't even have anything interesting to pass on. All I have is my my library of books. I am not even going to be leaving any sort of legacy behind. Useless in life and death. Caleb will probably say that in my eulogy.

What about my fairy-tale happy ending I am supposed to have with Tyler? I'm going to die as an 18-year-old virgin. I am not even going to get to be known as Mrs. Jacobsen.

The lights are getting dimmer by the second. The end is near. That's all for now folks. See you on the other side.

Everything goes black.

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My eyelids are heavy and my head is throbbing uncontrollably. A groan escapes my mouth and I hear the shuffling of feet.

I feel a hand stroking my hair and I let my guard down because I know it's just mom. I recognise her touch and it gives me comfort. Using all the strength I have, I force myself to open my eyes and sure enough mom is standing there with a concerned look on her face.

My eyes dart around the room and I scan my surroundings as much as I can without moving my head. There are no tubes attached to any part of my body and I am still in my own clothes. I successfully wiggle my fingers and toes just in case, to make sure I'm not paralyzed. Well, that's a good sign right? Other than the fact that I'm evidently lying on a bed in a hospital room. Still, I should be glad that I'm not sharing a room with any other patient because I don't respond well when da people invade ma personal space. Yes I know what you're all thinking: how is it possible for me to still have swag even when I'm almost dying. It's a gift people... a rare gift.

Oh wait. Private rooms are only given to super rich people (I wish I was, but I'm not) or patients in critical conditions. And since there are no signs of any physical injury, that means that I have some kind of mental illness. I'm doomed.

Mom starts caressing my cheek, jerking me out of my trance. She stops biting the inside of her bottom lip and raises her eyebrows worriedly. "Hey honey, how are you feeling?"

"Okay. What happened?" Since I'm feeling too weak, it comes out as a soft whisper.

"Oh honey, the people at the coffee place put regular milk instead of soy milk so you had an allergic reaction to it. Your blood pressure dropped pretty low and you passed out."

Ookay. Everything suddenly makes sense. Thank god! The world needs me. It definitely would not be a better place without me.

I clear my throat and speak more coherently this time. "Oh, then can we please leave? I'm totally fine now."

"Okay. I guess we can go. The nurse had said that you could be released as soon as you woke up, considering you felt well enough to walk."

"Yup mom. See, I'm perfect." To prove that to her I get off the bed and give my best see-i-told-you-so smile to her even though the pounding in my head hasn't stopped. Hospitals give me the creeps and I need to get out of here as fast as I can.

"Alright. I just need to sign some papers and get your medication. Just wait here. Oh. I totally forgot. The poor boy who brought you here must be still waiting outside. Should I send him in?"

"Which boy?" I asked, puzzled.

"Tyler. He said he knew you from school. He's the one who brought you here dear."

Hey guys! Please vote & comment if you like this story so far. Also I promise the next chapter will be more interesting. Tyler & Saoirse will finally talk face to face & it definitely won't go as smoothly as Saoirse had planned....