An Honest Lie

Chapter 10 - The Ass-tastrophe

"Tyler will get bitten in his ass by his own goddamn karma, Sersh," Gabby says over the phone of our three-way call.

I'm back home but today's events are still circling my brain. I rest my head against the headboard of my bed and sigh heavily.

"Gabby's right, S. He's gonna get what's coming to him. High five for flipping him off though. That must have been epic!" Caleb chuckles, "Although I do advise you to avoid having any more conflict with him. Dinner with his family is going to be awkward enough."

"Yeah well, it's just that I don't want to wait around for karma to bite his ass, y'now? I want to do it myself."

"I get it, but - " Caleb cuts off Gabby, "Ah, the mental image of you biting Tyler's tushy. Yum!"

"Ewww Caleb," I whine. I can hear Gabby snickering before she clears her throat and interjects, "Could you please be serious for one minute and not take everything we say out of context and make it sound totally inappropriate?"

"Sorry, I'll try to fight my instincts," sarcasm practically oozing out of his voice. 

"What should I do now? Tyler's definitely going to ask me why I'm so pissed at him after we sort of cleared things up."

"You could just tell him the truth? I don't think that would a bad thing," Gabby suggests.

"I agree. He should be aware of the damage he has caused. And maybe he could speak to Madison and all this will blow over." Caleb adds.

"It seems really simple but I'm pretty sure Madison isn't going to listen to anything Tyler has to say. It'll probably do more harm than good. Anyway, I've got some reading to do for my Literature class tomorrow and I really need to impress my professor because he's absolutely droolicious," a low moan escapes my mouth as I remember the outline of Mr. Rogers biceps flexing under his fitted shirt while  he wrote notes on the board.

"Ooh girl, you got it bad," Caleb teases and Gabby contributes by making kissing noises. I want to retort but I know that that would only encourage them and I kind of deserved it since I couldn't keep my stupid mouth shut about Mr. Rogers.

"Fine, get it out of your system. What else you got? Hit me."

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I finally hang up on my annoying best friends when they realise that finishing their homework is more important than their unhealthy obsession with my love life.

Shoving my phone into my back pocket, I turn up the volume of my speakers - which are connected to my iPod - on the nightstand.

I know that most people find music distracting but I've never been able to just sit in silence. I can in fact relate when people say that 'silence is deafening'. Either the tv or my iPod has to always be on in the background.

Nicki Minaj's Anaconda is on. Woo hoo. That's my jam. I get off the bed and do my dance routine; which is a series of twerking and basically just shamelessly dancing like a stripper. I grab the tv remote and use it as a microphone as I sing at the top of my lungs.

'Oh my gosh, look at her butt.' 

Nicki would be proud of me if she could see me right now.  I'm totally werkin' it. I often daydream of being her groupie and becoming one of her back up dancers and going on tour.

I hear music from somewhere else and I realise that its coming from my phone. I lower the volume of the speakers and remove my phone from my pocket. Someone changed my ringtone to 'I'm sexy & I know it'. I see the caller id and it all falls into place. Of course, I should have realised sooner. Tyler put that ringtone for himself when he added is number into my phone earlier today. That narcissistic ass.

I answer the phone in irritation, "What do want?"

"You were the one who called me first. I just wanted to know why." He sounds confused.

This just infuriates me even more. "What!? Why the hell would I call you?"

"How would I know? I got a call from you and when I picked up I heard you singing along to Anaconda before it got cut. I called back because I wasn't sure if you called me by accident or you simply wanted my valued criticism on your singing?"

Oh no no no no no. This is not happening. I did not just butt dial Tyler while singing Anaconda. Crap. How am I going to explain this one?

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Hey, hope you liked this chapter. It's quite short but I just wanted to post whatever I've written so far and didn't want to make you guys have to wait longer since I'm trying to keep up with the promise I made to update more regularly. A lot of butts involved. Which wasn't intentional btw. Pretty puzzled myself as to how that turned out. I almost named the chapter as 'The one with all the butts'. But then i changed it at the last second. Which title do you prefer? Let me know what you think. Vote & comment as always. Take care :)