savages ➳ lip gallagher

06 ⁞ unfuck yourself

  If I could perfectly describe Silas, it would be a harsh winter. The snowflakes resembled the tons of coke we would do, and the cold would resemble his heart. He fed on my demons; he was the most beautiful toxic thing I ever witnessed in my life.

I feel a sharp pain in my face and try to remember how I received the cut. It's all a blur, a beautiful colorful blur.

I remember dancing carelessly on the designated dance floor and remember a touch that wasn't familiar. I remember being dragged into the bathroom and slammed against the marble wall. The yells from Silas roar over the music. The green-eyed monster grabs a tight grip on my wrists which are now bruised.

"You're mine, no one else's." He growls and punches the bathroom mirror causing the glass to fly and slice me on my face.

"What happened next," Ethan asks. I snap out of it and look over to his now dark green worried eyes.

My heart aches to see the hurt from Ethan's eyes as he would pick me up from random places. Random places Silas would leave me. But this time was different. This time Ethan has witnessed the very moment where Silas has succeeded in destroying everything that is to be loved by me. Where he managed to suck out my soul altogether.

"I don't remember anything else before coming here," I say.

I look down at my bruised wrist seeing my stylish hospital bracelet. I didn't remember anything else before being rushed to the hospital after the overdose. I woke up with Ethan by my side and no Silas. Apparently, he's nowhere to be found, he probably thinks I'm dead.

"Ellie you have been gone for two weeks, Pa has been going crazy looking for you, you really don't remember anything else?" Ethan pleads.

"No," I mumble. Even if I did remember I didn't want to. This isn't the first time Silas has pulled a stunt like this, but it was undoubtedly the last.

Silas abandoned me and wanted nothing but the worse for me. I was too blind to see that. Blinded by the love, if it ever was love.

  We managed to get a private room in the hospital; money can get you anything. We couldn't tell our father where I am, just that I've been over at friends. If not Silas would be the one dead. I look over at the wall daydreaming and trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together.

  "I'm going to kill him." Ethan dared. I watched as his jaw clenches in anger.

  Seeing me in the hospital, with a gown and tubes connected to me was the last place we want each other to be. I was scared. Not because of me or Silas, I was scared of Ethan. Ethan could be capable of a lot. Our father tried to teach him the ways around the business, and he was present to the ugly side as well being his only son and all.

  Now, this isn't the story of Silas or my heartbreak; this is the story of the undying love my brother has for me. Family is not to be fucked with.

  I waited hours for hours end for my only visitor to show. I waited so long that I've gotten worn out by it and fell asleep. Asleep with my demons taunting me. Occasionally panic mode because I've lost it and tried fleeing.  Then it was 2:30 am. He comes back covered in marks and blood. Blood that didn't seem to be his.

  My brother can be the coolest person to be around, but when it comes to his twin sister, a monster unleashes. 'It's all taken care of.' He would say, like any time his monster is upon us. He is my keeper. And I would do the same for him. No one else has seen this side of him.

  And Silas? He's across the country in New York somewhere. If he comes back, it's with a death wish.  But I doubt that would ever happen after the broken ribs and jaw. It doesn't compare to how broken he left me. This is why Ethan is the way he is now. He's seen me at my lowest; I got there because of a man. I forgot to love myself. I forgot who I was.

  I just had to do one thing. Be who I was before all that stuff happened that dimmed my fucking shine. I had to unfuck myself.

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Okay so this chapter is obviously a little flashback, I just wanted to have you know how much damage Silas did on Ellie. I wanted you all to see exactly why Ethan is very protective and the way he is. Ethan is also totally badass; I hope you all will end up loving him as much as I do. I have big plans!

Also, Silas is this guy!