angel. anthony kiedis, red hot chili peppers

012

"Anthony?" My voice was soft, and audibly shaky.

It's like I was too scared to even speak any louder. My mind was racing, almost as fast as my heart was beating.

What's wrong? That's all I could think- it's the only thought running through my head. What is wrong?

The sounds of soft, quiet, sobs were breaking my heart. I was determined to try to help. I had to at least try. He's done everything under the Sun for me and much more.

"C-Can I come in?" I whispered, my hand placed on the doorknob. I felt that my hands were shaking as I did so.

I didn't hear a response, only some mumbling that I couldn't quite make out, followed by more soft crying.

Oh well. I'll take that as a yes.

As I pushed open his bedroom door, I held my breath. His lights were off but I could still see through the light outside shining in from the window in his room.

Anthony sat on the end of his bed, with his head in his hands. Either he didn't hear me or he just did not care about my presence, because he didn't move.

"What's wrong?" I barely choke out, watching him from a distance.

He sniffles and shakes his head quickly. His long hair covered the sides of his face, almost curtaining it.

"N-Nothing's wrong." A soft whimper escaped his lips.

I found myself walking towards him, not being able to take the urges anymore. I had to try to help him. At least to try. If he pushes me away, then I'll let him be. But, when someone's hurting, I want to help.

Especially someone like Anthony.

I hesitantly reached my hand out, placing it on his shoulder.

Before I know it, in one swift move, he's sitting up, wrapping his arms around my waist, and burying his face in my stomach.

I didn't know what to do other than stand there. My eyes slightly widening at this new contact, but hearing his cries made my expression soften once more. I placed my hands on both of his shoulders and rubbed them gently, chewing hard on my bottom lip.

"Tell me..Tell me what's wrong. Why are you crying?" I whispered, looking down at him. All I could see was the top of his head, and his strong arms wrapped around me securely.

Anthony's short and quick breathes seemed to be slowing down some. I stroked his soft locks to try and get him to calm down even more, and it seemed to be working.

"I-It's a long story." He sniffles, turning his head so it was now the side of his face against my stomach. He stared forward and refused to look up at me.

"I'm listening." I whispered, biting down on the corner of my lip now.

He pulled away from me finally, and the look in his eyes made my heart sink once more. They were slightly red, and puffy from all the tears he spilled. He truly looked sad.

He wiped the tears off of his cheeks and sighed, motioning for me to take a seat beside of him on his bed. I slowly did so, the bed making a small squeaking noise now from our combined weight.

"So," He whispered, breathing in deeply, but shakily. He paused and closed his eyes for a second.

"So?" I whispered back, looking up at him.

His beautiful eyes were sad; and I truly wanted to fix it.

"You know how..I said..my band's guitarist..left us?" He spoke softly, taking quick breathes in-between bits of his sentence. He was already fighting back more tears.

Oh no. What happened?

"Y-Yeah?" My voice slightly cracked. I tilted my head as I reached my hand out and grabbed ahold of his, which he almost instantly gripped on to.

"Well, we found someone new." He swallowed hard, now staring down at our hands. His big hand wrapped around mine tightly, and it seemed as if he never wanted to let go.

I nod my head, encouraging him to keep going with the story. I was so confused by this point, but I was trying to not make it all that obvious to him. I just wanted him to know that I was listening carefully to him, that I cared.

"H-He's amazing and all..b-but.." Anthony's voice broke once more, as tears streaked his cheeks. I squeeze his hand and breath in quickly.

"He's not..Hillel. Hillel's the one who left us..he, he passed away." He murmured softly, turning and laying his head down on my shoulder pitifully.

"I-I miss him a lot." He cried into my shoulder, "I've just been thinking about him today. I-I can't..I just miss him."

Now I understand. I understand why he was acting strange earlier. I understand and my heart is absolutely broken for him. I can't even imagine how badly Anthony really feels.

I rub his back slowly, trying to stay strong, and calm for him. I wanted to just be supporting him.

"I'm so sorry, Anthony." I whisper against his hair. All that was heard in the room was his quiet sobs, and my quick breathes.

I felt so, so bad for him.

He wept and wept as I held him close to me. It felt like hours. Long, heartbreaking, hours.