One Time [Montgomery De La Cruz x OC]

The sky was screaming I lost you.

An ectopic pregnancy, that's what finally broke me. Not growing up fatherless, not having a shitty mom, not getting pregnant as a teenager, not a chaotic relationship, not a school shooting that almost cost said boyfriend his life, not almost dying during child birth, not being beaten and raped, and not even my best friend commiting suicide. No, it was the loss of my child that I had barely even known about. Four days after I found out I was pregnant, I went to the doctor where it was confirmed that I was pregnant but there still wasn't good news. I was having an ectopic pregnancy, also known as a tubal pregnancy. There was no possible way to save the baby and my life was at risk. The next morning, Monty and I were sitting at the hospital and I was having surgery to remove the baby. I woke up from surgery feeling empty and in the most physical and emotional pain I'd ever been in. My final gift from Hannah was gone. The only thing that gave me any comfort was that they were up there together. I knew Aunt Hannah was caring for my angel baby for me until I could myself. It felt cold in the hospital and I felt like I was in my own personal hell. Montgomery was suffering too but I could tell he was trying to stay strong for me. I didn't want to be around him though. I didn't want to be around anyone. No one could relate to how I was feeling. I couldn't look at Monty and know that I lost our child. I couldn't look at Jessica and know that her unborn baby is still alive and thriving. I couldn't look at any of my friends' and see the looks of sympathy on their faces. I couldn't be around Annie and listen to her tell me that everything will be okay. I even struggled to look at Savannah knowing that I was supposed to have another one of her and wasn't able to. I wondered what I did wrong, what I did to deserve this. I felt like I had already been through enough pain in my lifetime to last forever but apparently I still had more to come. I didn't know how to act. Was I acting accordingly? Was I over reacting? Was I pushing my loved ones away? Would I ever be okay again? I sighed and looked down at my stomach. It no longer had the little bump that had begun to form, all that was left was a tiny little pocket of fat that I had gained. I gently wiped away the stray tears that had fallen whenever I heard my bedroom door open. I knew that it was Monty. The school day was over and he had had plenty of time to pick up Savannah from daycare. It had only been two days since my surgery, so I was still on bed rest and out of school for the next few days. I softly smiled at Savannah whenever Montgomery put her on the bed. I watched as he put all of my schoolwork that he had collected for me on the desk in our room. I looked a little harder and saw roses sticking out of his baseball bag that he placed on the floor. I felt a pang of guilt in my chest for how I'd been acting towards Monty. He was hurting too and instead of getting to grieve at all himself, he was having to take care of me. I knew I needed to man up, it wasn't fair what I was doing and the way I was acting. I took a deep breath and slowly scooted off the bed, careful not to hurt my incisions. "Thank you for getting my schoolwork." I whispered. It was the first time I had spoke since we got the news. He spun around at the sound of my voice, no matter how quiet it was. I took a tentative step towards him before speaking again. "Those roses look really beautiful too." I was able to get my voice to come out a little stronger that time. He smiled at me and turned around, pulling the roses out of his bag. They were a deep red and looked fresh. "I got them for you. I know you like to have flowers in our room and whenever I was picking Sav up from daycare I realized that we haven't had any in here in awhile so I got some. I thought it might make you feel a little bit better." He said nervously while handing them to me. I felt horrible that he was nervous talking to me. I hadn't spoke to him or anyone, I hadn't supported him, I hadn't been friendly, I locked myself away, and I didn't help with anything. Of course I had the right to be upset but that didn't give me the right to treat my boyfriend or anyone else bad. I smelled the roses and as soon as I inhaled the scent, I felt a little bit alive again. Hannah always hated roses but I loved them. I didn't care if they were cliche or not, they made me happy and Montgomery knew that. "I love them. Thank you." I said before placing them on the bed and then walking towards Monty. Once I reached him, I slowly wrapped my arms around him and rested my head on his chest. The familiar warmth from Monty touching me covered me and soothed my soul. It had been too long since I felt his touch. He tensed up at first, unsure of how to respond to me after the way I'd been acting, but after a moment he tightly wrapped his arms around me. I heard him sigh in content and I began rubbing his back at the sound. For someone who tries so hard to think of others, I sure am selfish in emotional situations. I felt him gently shake underneath my touch and I knew that he was crying and trying to hold it in. "Let it all out, M. It's okay." I said while pulling him in closer to my body. Savannah was still babbling on the bed, which I was happy for. She needed to be distracted long enough for Montgomery to be able to cry. "I just feel so bad for you, baby. I know you're hurting so bad and you have to feel the pain of the baby not being inside of you anymore. I know it's hard for you to be around anyone and I understand why. And then I'm hurting because I lost a kid too but I'm more concerned about how you're feeling and I swear to God if I hear how sorry anyone is one more fucking time..." I cut him off with a kiss. I could tell it was much needed. I knew that I was right as soon as I felt him melt into it. I could feel his stress, sorrow, and anger ebbing away. I wondered if he could feel the same with me. I opened up my mouth to allow him access. The kiss was not sexual at all. It was purely passionate and loving.  He tangled his hand into my hair and gently massaged my scalp. It felt so good and I could feel my stress headache slowly going away. I pulled back after a few minutes and took a second to catch my breath. I looked up and met Montgomery's eyes with my own. His were filled with love and pain, but mostly love. I was sure my looked the same, except I probably had some guilt mixed in too. "I'm sorry." I whispered as tears welled up in my eyes. "Me too, Mar. Me too."