Too Far Gone

Chapter 17

"I do not." I lowered my head once again in anguish against my bitter heart.

"You acknowledge that you said 'forever', right?" He nodded distraughtly.

"Perhaps this was our forever." Tears began to simmer within my eyes, but I would not let them fall.

"T'was not meant to be ever on." Beren interrupted our state into each other's eyes.

"My eyes glistened at your very sight, Madeira. I would have sworn you looked upon me in the same manor of love."

I nodded slightly and released my grip of his chest.

"I must go for the truth of my love. I go now to where it is of great worth! To Ered Luin." I began walking out the door.

"You cannot go this night!" Bain interrupted. "Be off in the morning hours! Stay one more night."

"I have not that amount of time to spare."

"He is right! Set off in the morning." Beren said.

"Do not speak a word amongst me, fool!" I snarled with what little energy the pain allowed.

"Please! It is far too late! The pain will not let you!" Bain pleaded.

"But I must!"

I looked upon his eyes.

Care still lurked among them.

I nodded, agreeing.

"You!" Bain barked. "As for you! You placed her life upon a thin line! Had this not happened, her love would still be upon I! And you promised her memory, yet it has not come! None of this had of happened if not for your witchcraft!"

The next thing I recalled was Bain holding an arrow upon the man's chest.

~

We walked, companied by harsh silence in the night.

The grief hung above me.

"I cannot say sorry, for it will heal nothing of the damage I created." I admitted.

Bain nodded and kept a stride in the rain.

~

I sat upon the bed in the room I had last been in with Thorin. Images of his strong body upon the floor danced in my head. The corners of my mouth slowly lifted at the thought of returning to him.

I was not about to get any sleep that night as the stabbing and aching had increased.

The fate of my life was at stake, upon a thin line.

One wrong move and my heart would stop, one wrong calculation of time and I was gone.

I rested my hands upon my lap and gazed upon them, pale, colorless things they had become, as had the rest of me.

A great, sudden shot of pain gathered in my chest and flowed through my veins.

The pain had gotten more.

But I must sleep some before departure.

Thoughts continued to flood my mind beyond an ocean.

Beren has perished, or so I believed, though I had only seen the arrow drawn back and placed at his chest, I had left beige it could be released.

I could not see more death, as I had already seen enough in myself as I stated upon the mirror.

The next death could be mine.

I had few days to reach Ered Luin, few days that would mean life or death.

But even then, the love may not be returned, I was destined to my fate. Thorin may be set upon another as I him. The flames of war would begin, battling death and destiny, both cruel in length. It was not in love to die for one, it was not romantic, it is the absence of presence, nothing more. The endless forever of not returning. And not returning to the one the heart is set upon. An endless gap you cannot see an end to. Just an endless forever.