Silver Death

You know?

When I woke at six the next morning I had been awoken by a nightmare. Without opening my eyes, changing positions, or changing my breathing pattern I take in my surroundings.

I had turned around during the night and latched myself to Winters arm-the one thing that I had always clutched when scared- and could hear him speaking to someone.

"Steve, seriously she'll be fine. She's a tough girl."
Of course I am.
"Really Buck? Look at her! She's trembling and in a cold sweat!!"
"She's fine. She was always like this in HYDRA. Her nightmares were- well are worse then mine. But she always put on a brave smirk and beat the crap outta her opponent during training."
"Well what's happened since she got out?! She could have gotten worse! We should let Sam look at her!"
"If you tell her this I will not hesitate to put you in a hospital. She's always been a determined and positive girl. She has never once let HYDRA see her cry, hell I haven't seen her cry and I spent almost her whole life with her. But that aside I know that people can only go so long without breaking. I have had Sam do a silent assessment on her. He says that she is very good and hiding her feelings but Widow put up a camera in the shed so you can see the entrance shaft. When she came up from talking to us yesterday she was in tears. And when she walked through the door into the house she had a small smile on her face and her tears were dried. She won't show anyone weakness. I taught her that and I wish a didn't."

"It's not you fault Winter. HYDRA made you like that and you were just passing it on."

When I spoke I could feel Winter spin his head to look at me then turn to  glare at Captain.

"So Silver," Winter tensed as Captain spoke. "how long have you been awake?"

"Thank you Winter for telling Steve that I'm a tough girl. Now, why the hell would you get Falcon to do an assessment on me? I don't need one. I'm perfectly fine."

While I'm speaking I slowly sit up feeling stiff because I slept in a weird position compared to what I'm used to.

"No your not Silver. I know you try to be because that's what I taught you but we are here for you. You don't need to hide anymore."

Getting up and climbing over Winter so my feet are on the ground and walking to the door frame only to pause and look over my shoulder to Winter who had sat up to watch me and Captain who had been silent since his question,

"I'm a tough girl. Tough girls don't cry and we sure as anything don't have feelings."

Sliding on my boots I walk outside in my pyjamas which were shorts and a button up flannel I once again end up in my nest.

Starring at the body thats occupying my safe spot I wonder how long Hawkeye had been up here.

Covering him with a blanket because it was cold in the rafters and shoving a pillow under his head I climb back down the ladder so I don't make a loud noise.
Not wanting to build, hack, or organize my armoury I go to one room that the others didn't know about. My training room.

Taking off my boots and grabbing a sports bra from my storage closet that was in the far corner I wrap my hands and stand in front of the punching bag.

I don't touch it for the first ten minutes in there. I'm just looking at it. Then like always I start to think back to what Winter had taught me. Shutting my eyes and reopening them I no longer see a punching bag but instead a HYDRA agent.

Kicking and punching the agent until I grab a knife from a wall that's near by with my foot I stab him only to have sand poor out of the wound.