It's Not Your Fault- Armin x Reader

2 Days

"WhAt?! (y/n) please tell me you're not pregnant!"

"No, what the hell, no."

"Oh thank Wall Sina! But please don't do that again."

You just rolled your eyes.

"(Y/N)! Don't roll your eyes at me!" Hanji said.

"Oh? Or what? Are you gonna give me a ridiculous punishment as well?"

Hanji and Levi looked at each other. One with confusion, the other with annoyance.

"Things got a little heated earlier. Needless to say, we aren't exactly happy with each other." Levi turned his attention back to you.

"You know, I don't see how yelling at me and making me feel bad is supposed to help with my 'suicidal thoughts'. I see some more flaws in your logic here, Levi."

"You're actually driving me to insanity."

"Such a shame that I haven't been driven completely insane yet."

"Okay, well (y/n), I need you to come with me for a little bit." Hanji said patting your head.

"Anything to get me out of here." you got up from your chair and followed Hanji out of the room as fast as you were able to.

Hanji signalled something to Levi before she shut the door and walked down the hall toward her room. She opened the door and motioned for you to go inside. She shut the door after she walked in and stood against it with her arms crossed.

"Well...?"

"Well what?"

"I want you to explain what happened in there. Why are you mad? Why did you snap at Levi? Why are you acting like this? This isn't you, (y/n)."

"Levi accused me of lying to him, then acted like a girl on her period because I'm not Maya, then started yelling at me because of whatever suicidal thoughts he thought I was having."

"I see. And now do you think that your actions back were appropriate?"

All at once, your emotions that were barricaded by your anger were released like a broken flood gate. You stumbled over your words, "I-i, I just want this all to end. They didn't deserve to die. All I want to do right now is be with him."

"Him who?" Hanji questioned, though she immediately knew the answer.

"Armin. I need him. He's the one thing right now that's keeping me alive."

"What about me?" Hanji asked slightly offended.

"I want to bring them back. I wish none of this happened. I shouldn't have been such a burden as a child. I want to be able to take it all back, that way I can just end it before they died. Maybe that would've saved them."

"You were never a burden to them. Yes, they did blame you for a lot of things but that's what people do when they are stressed. Never think that you are why they died, because you aren't. You understand me, (y/n)?"

"I held Rita from getting her gear from her Garrison post. I was busy searching for Marco during the Retake of Trost when I should've been with Maya. It's my fault they died no matter how you look at it. You can't deny facts that are in plain sight."

"Well even if you think that you were the cause, you are one of 1,000,000 different factors that played a role in their deaths. And blaming anyone, it would most likely be the person who planned the formations fault. And yes they are gone, but that doesn't mean that you should mourn for them for this long. Find something else to love. Someone else to love."

"Yeah, I'm one of 1,000,000 different factors, but I was the factor that determined life and death for them. Apparently I chose the latter. I just want all of this to be over. I don't want to lose anyone else. I don't want to lose you, or Armin, or Levi. I want to stop loving people because anyone I love, I lose." unconsciously, tears started to fall.

"Please continue loving, because without love and loss, what is life?" Hanji brought her hand to your face and wiped away the tears.

"..."

"Exactly." she smiled down at you, "Now you should head to bed." she pulled you in for a hug. "I'll walk you there if you would prefer."

You just nodded into her chest, not wanting to let go.

You walked down the hall, still clinging onto Hanji until you finally reached the girls' bunks.

"Okay (y/n), this is your stop." she said, coming into the room quietly as to not wake the other girls. "Goodnight." she said in a gentle voice, then left.

"Goodnight." you replied as you shyly walked inside.

You stumbled over to your bed, trying not to wake anyone up. You crawled into your bed, grabbed your necklace as if it was your lifeline, and quietly cried yourself to sleep.