A/N: I feel like this could be better??
Summary: Dan has an eating disorder and Phil doesn't really know what to do but he's trying. (I'm bad at summaries but that's pretty much it.)
TRIGGER WARNING: anorexia, eating disorders, purging
DISCLAIMER: I am not pro anorexia, bulimia, or any other eating disorders. I think that if you want to lose weight you should do it healthily. Additionally, I have never had an eating disorder so all of the feelings and thoughts Dan has I wrote using the information I've gotten from movies/tv/books/etc. If any of this stuff is inaccurate, I apologize. I tried my best.
12/01/14
If Phil Lester could describe his boyfriend, Daniel Howell, in two words, he would choose "lovely" and "dying." Lovely, because he was one of the sweetest, funniest, most caring people Phil had ever met. Dying, because he was.
10/02/14
It was the eyes that first gave it away.
"I made your favorite!" Phil would grin, setting down a plate of steaming hot chicken stir-fry.
And then that plastic smile would stretch across Dan's face as panic glistened in his eyes.
"I'm not hungry."
10/07/14
It took a while for Phil to pick up on anything odd. Dan still ate three meals a day, he just ate less of them. An apple for breakfast, a salad for lunch, then whatever Phil cooked for dinner--it became a routine.
"You haven't been eating much lately," Phil commented one day over supper, "everything alright?"
Dan nodded, taking another bite of his sandwich. "Yeah, just trying to drop a few pounds, don't worry about it."
"I think you look fine, but okay..." Phil nodded uncertainly but didn't say anything else. After all, there really wasn't much to fret over--Dan had attempted many diet plans before. Phil could only assume that, like always, he would forget it in a week or so.
10/16/14
The exercise came next. Every day, at six-thirty, when Dan thought Phil was still asleep, he would sneak out of bed and walk to the stairs, running up and down them for an hour or so before heading off to shower.
Phil figured out what his boyfriend was doing around the second or third day he got up early. It wasn't until the fifth day that he asked about it.
"What are you doing?" Phil muttered, rolling over to face his boyfriend.
Dan, who was in the middle of tying his tennis shoes, jumped, spinning around. "Oh, just thought I'd, um...make...breakfast?"
"Really?" Phil swung his legs over the edge of the bed, raising an eyebrow. "Because it looks to me like you're going to go jog up and down the steps for an hour."
Dan blushed, looking guilty. "You knew?"
"I'm the love of your life, of course, I knew."
Phil sighed, watching as Dan laughed awkwardly, then left the room in a hurry.
10/25/14
"Do you want to order pizza?" Phil asked, gently running his fingers through Dan's curls.
"You can, I'm not really that hungry. I think I'm coming down with something," Dan murmured, wrapping his arms around Phil's torso.
"Oh no...Do you want some soup? I think we have some in the cupboard, if not I can run out and get something."
Dan shook his head, not quite meeting Phil's eyes. "I'm just not up to it tonight... thanks anyway."
