A NEW WORLD: Acotar and tog ✅

Chapter 12

Feyre's P.O.V

The first stroke of paint was enough. Soon my paintbrush was flowing through the canvas, doing its own thing, mixing swirls of blue and black hues together, as dark as the midnight sky.

Midnight sky.

My brush landed with a thud on the wooden tiles. I just blissfully (and unintentionally) painted a landscape of Velaris. Huh. No wonder I enjoyed myself so much. I couldn't bear to dispose of the canvas, since Tamlin could've seen it, so I hid it under my bed.

When my insomnia exacerbated, I spent about a fortnight staying up till Dawn, longing for the Night Court. I used to look at the picture under my bed, longing for Rhysand, to talk to me anytime, longing for Mor, so I can really laugh and smile. Cassian and Azriel, to help me defend myself. My sisters, so at least I have a real sense of family.

Too bad longing is a just a feeling.

A feeling you really can't get out of your head.

Lying in bed all day crying was not going to do me justice. It's been nearly a month here in the manor. After all, the people of the Spring Court had a tool of a leader anyway. A temporary helper would benefit them.

I abandoned the study, knowing that anything I wanted to paint wasn't reasonable anyway. The fact I left the study in a shit hole of paint splattered everywhere after I took out all my rage on the paint pots really helped clear my mind. I smiled to myself as I walked into the dining hall, for our dinner.

"Feyre," Tamlin whispered and smiled. I smiled sweetly back, my face a canvas of adoration. Lucien nodded blankly. He was pretty quiet these days. A servant pushed my chair back, allowing me to sit. I sat down, still smiling. It was beginning to hurt my face now.

"How was your day my love?" Tamlin enquired.

"Shit."

The servants gasped, and so did Lucien. Tamlin just dropped his fork. Have they really never heard me cuss before? Rhysand would laugh at that.

"Sorry darling?" Tamlin asked, now aware of the fork lying on the floor. He quickly ordered a servant to fetch a new one. I had to contain myself from laughing.

"Oh nothing Tam, it's just really boring in the manor you know? it's nearly been a month since I've been back and I really want to go outside, help some of the people." I said. Well, it was true.

Tamlin sighed in relief. That was a close call.

"Well, Feyre, I could organise for Lucien to take you to the village if you really want," he said, his words wavering. I could tell this displeased him very much. But he really wanted to hang on to me. Weak.

"Oh thank you Tam!" I smiled. He looked at me earnestly as I shifted about in my seat. What did he want, a kiss?

I need to keep this game up.

Your gonna kiss him then?

Well he's gonna ask why I'm so distant.

Well, maybe because you were tortured at the Night Court and really don't want to be near anyone right now?

It's been a month.

It took you 4 months to stop having nightmares about Amarantha.

I stayed still in my seat, smiling away, before looking down at my food and beginning to eat. I sensed he was going to come up to my room tonight and ask me about why I was so distant, just like so many other nights. I always told him, "I need more time." Let's hope it works again.