Dear Thought book

Hello

I've been thinking about writing for a while but a lot of things have been holding me back. One of the them is the fact that I'm a huge procrastinator and never really found myself doing something like this. Another is the fact that people tend to be too invested in themselves and what's going on in their lives and don't really care about other people's problems.                 
                Most of us try to be sympathetic and be a shoulder to lean on, but the truth is, not many of us really care. It's just how the world is. The funny thing is, if we looked beyond our problems just for a while, we'd realize that we're not so different. That there's some out there having a problem similar to ours and we're never alone. Not really.
          So maybe that's why I decided to start writing. So that hopefully, one day, someone would stumble upon this book and see that there's someone who can relate. And so I lie on my bed in my dark purple curtained room and write this in hope that there's someone out there who gets it.
           I guess you're wondering why I named it “Dear Thought book” instead of just saying diary. Frankly, I just wanted something different and since “journal” has also become another mundane word, I decided to shake things up a little.
          One of the major reasons I'm writing this is so I can let go of a lot of things and people in my life. I've always had an issue letting go and the cause of that is probably because I'm not a fan of change. You just never know what to expect. It's like when local divers enter a tunnel and are running out of air. Do you keep moving forward and hope the end isn't too far away? Or do you go back and see if you can make it before you instinctively take in that gush of water and cross over to the other side? The point is, change frightens me.
          Funny how I'm writing about change and letting go when I still can't get Evans out of my head. Last week made it exactly two months of us not talking. Till this day I still don't know what went wrong. Some things just  aren't meant to be I suppose. With each day it gets easier. Though it doesn't help that I have to see him in school but I'm getting there. There's someone else now. Caleb. But I haven't given him an answer because I feel like the moment I do, I'll be admitting that it's game over.
                Honestly, you'd think that the entire summer vacation would be enough forget about someone but alas. Like a tattoo he seems to be stuck in my head. Sigh. Sometimes I wish I didn't have feelings.......
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Hope you like the first chapter in hopefully many chapters to come. Sorry I cut it short but I just realized I haven't done any of my homework so 😅. Gotta go