Can i just cry ????
It just I don't want to cry
I mean crying is accepting defeat
And not smiling was never an option
You said :" It's a poison if u just hold it back"
You are right
But Do you know those times
Where tears keeps on coming down out of control
Like you are not crying and don't feel crying and still tears are coming down
My mind is blank But tears keeps on coming down Not stopping
I don't want to cry
I don't want to accept defeat
I hate it when i feel weak , I know i am weak but i hate feeling it
But the pain
The pain that i feel in my throat, my chest , my stomach
The feeling of throwing up
These kind of things
They just ......
The reasons Of my tears
Even if i don't want to cry , Those things makes tears come down
"It's okay to cry once , even the Ocean have tsunami"
But what's the point ..... if i cry now
Next time i 'll fee like crying again
And on and on like this .....it will be a mess
betters hold it in
"Get stronger for urself"
How is that huh
From Where i should start
It's easy to say But hard to do
you know that I tried
I really did
I stoped cutting and went back
And i stoped again And thinking of that I am pretty proud of it
i won't lie
Like saying i used to is a big thing
But that's not the point
I am trying To be strong
i really am
But every time i go a step higher Something crash it And i fall straight to the bottom
" U gotta learn to not give a shit u know !! U cant feel like this Bcz of one person .. He doesnt deserve to ruin ur life for ! It's easier to say i know but just ignore that man
Even if he yells at u just stare at him & dont listen
Dont let him control ur mood
U gotta know he is doing this cz he is kind of weak "
your words ..... those words
I know that , And i feel sorry for that
I feel sorry for him i do
But It's not only now I kept on holding in Sometimes i break down
And when i am alone i hate myself for that
I go from "i feel relieved " right to "you are pathetic"
These are the results
Of holding it all in
Because Not smiling was never an option
But still .......... can i cry ???
At least this time???
