Chapter 3 - Not What I Wanted

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"Tara, this is my girlfriend, Beverly."

Okay.

I know I shouldn't be upset. I knew it was likely that Lexi would move on. She has the right to do that, and I truly want her to be happy, even if that's not with me.

But... I'm having a hard time seeing Lexi happy with a girl who screams at people for daring to exist in the path that she is walking. Lexi is a nonconformist. Beverly is dressed perfectly in style. Lexi is kind and caring. Beverly snapped "what's your defect?" at a confused disabled girl. Lexi is an artist. Beverly should be, like, a prosecutor or something.

No. I'm jumping to conclusions about people I barely know, and that's unfair. Beverly could be a nice person who just was having a bad day. A really, really, REALLY bad day.

So I swallow any less-than-polite remarks and say "It's... nice to meet you, Beverly."

"Thank you." Beverly gives me a cloyingly sweet smile. "Tara, was it?"

I look down and away. "Yeah."

"I heard about how you left Lexi without a word." Beverly observes her manicured nails as she talks.

My tongue catches in my mouth. "I..."

"Don't worry," Beverly says with a smile practically dripping sweetness. "I was there to pick up the pieces."

[Illustration of Tara, Beverly, and Lexi

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[Illustration of Tara, Beverly, and Lexi. Tara looks awkwardly off to the side, Beverly smiles triumphantly, and Lexi purses her lips and seems unsure how to handle the situation.]

I freeze. Half of my brain is screaming, whirling, wanting to shout, or to somehow make her see what happened, to show that I was struggling, that I'm not a bad person!

But the more sensible half of me wins.

I take a deep breath and say "You're right."

Beverly freezes. "What?"

"I left without a word," I admit. "And I shouldn't have. Lexi, I knew that would probably mean I'd lost you for good. I was heartbroken over my mom's death. I just couldn't cope. At minimum, I could have left a note explaining. But I didn't. Lexi, I can't imagine how that must have felt for you. I'm really sorry. If you're upset with me, I understand."

I close my eyes, and wait.

"I was really upset, for a while," Lexi says. "I talked to your friend Will at one point. She told me that you didn't mean to abandon me, that you were really struggling. And I get that. I'm not mad at you anymore. I forgive you."

Beverly frowns.

Lexi takes a deep breath. "And I'm sorry for blindsiding you with my new relationship. Can you accept that I've moved on?"

I knew this could happen, and honestly... I can handle it. I breathe in. "Yes."

"And, uh... if you wanted to be friends, maybe we could," Lexi says.

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