Everything Has Changed

9.5 Lingerings

I walk over to the clothes rack by my desk and select two clothes bags. I hand them to Este. "Here, they're all done." He thanks me, hangs the clothes at the back of the door and proceeds to put my refrigerated groceries away. I start putting away the other things. He puts one plastic bag inside of another and tosses them aside before he takes to another bag. He pauses momentarily.

"I have one more thing for you." He pulls a small box from one of the bags. He pushes it into my hands. A pregnancy test stares me in the face. I stare at him in complete shock. "Pee on it," he says firmly. "You don't mope around like this and you don't get sick. The way you're acting isn't only attributed to what happened. You have to know."

"I...I...just..." I don't move. He guides me over to my couch where we sit down.

"Alright, look Laylani, I'm sorry ok? I really am. These past 4 years working for you has gotten me more experience than I could have imagined. You're the best boss I've every had. You're one of the most beautiful people inside and out that I've ever met and a very intelligent and talented woman at that. I know so much about you down to your ever changing hot beverage choices. I love you like a sister. With that said I only want what's best for you, menina (girl); don't you know that?" 

All I can feel are tears rolling down my cheeks as I look into his eyes soft hazel eyes. He wipes my tears away with his thumb. I nod managing a little laugh. "Yeah," I say my voice shaking. 

"Exactly so you already know that you need to do this; you need to know whether you're pregnant or not and you need to tell Romano that you slept with Bruno." He picks up the test and presses it into my lap. "You need to do this." 

"Ok." 

"Good," He helps me to my feet and gives me a big bear hug. "Don't cry anymore, you're going to do this one step at a time." He steps away from me and picks up the coffee tray. He heads for the door, resting his hand on it for no more than a second before he turns back to me. "Let me know what the results are, ok?" I nod at him and he steps out. "Take care of yourself." 

"I will. Thank you Este." 

"You're welcome." he smiles once more and steps through the door. 

______

Two and a half weeks later, Romano is back from Spain...

I feel the warmth of the early sunlight streaking in through the large panes of the windows of my bedroom. The light disrupts my sleep and I almost immediately retaliate against it by pulling the covers up over my head. The attempt turns out to be futile and I end up tearing my body up out of bed. I walk to the bathroom and get to work with my usual routine: wash face, brush teeth, shower. As I step out of the shower and put on my bra and underwear, a wave of nausea washes over me, I sit down on the toilet seat. I take a few deep breaths and the feeling quickly subsides. Glancing at the cupboard beneath the sink, I see a small piece of white rubber sticking out. I stand, slowly bend down and open the two small doors. There sitting among cleaning supplies, I find a tipped over, open box of rubber gloves; the kind I usually use to dye my hair. I sit on the area rug Indian style and begin pushing the gloves back into their cardboard box. As I get to the last one something else catches my eye.

The pregnancy test, the one that Este gave me. 

You need to do this. Let me know what the results are, ok?  I hear his voice in my head. 

After taking a deep breath I open the box and look. It resembles a thermometer with the exception of the two options next to the small oval screen. Two lines: pregnant; one line: not pregnant. I take another deep breath. I have to know this...its the right thing to do. I take the test and sit on the toilet seat again, waiting. The lack of movement makes me anxious. I put the test down without looking at it and continue with my routine. I pull on a pair of black yoga pants and green pullover hoodie. Walking out of my bedroom and past the bathroom I go to the kitchen and get some hot water boiling for my tea. I grab my favorite mug from the cupboard and and set it down with my green tea bag sitting in the mug. I leaning against the counter I focus on my hands. They tremble every so slightly.