What You're Not | ✔

03. Pure Ego

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"Hey, Loren," The Twins chimed as they approached me at my locker.

Since the sleepover, I was a little less wary of them. We talked a lot over the weekend and now I kind of felt like I'd known them for a while. Which wasn't surprising considering how transparent they were. Unlike me, they loved to talk about themselves, which I didn't mind. It was nice letting them do all the talking.

"Hey," I said, closing my locker.

"How's your first day of school going?" Kimber asked as we made our way to the cafeteria.

"I only got lost twice," I replied. "So, it's going better than I expected."

After grabbing some food, the three of us joined Riley and Chelsea at the table. They were both on their phones. Neither of them even bothered to look up when we sat down.

"What are you guys looking at?" Jem questioned, trying to get a look at Riley's phone.

"Pacific High's new cheer uniforms," Chelsea said, holding her phone out for us to see.

Then girls on the screen wore gorgeous purple, turquoise and white uniforms. I was about to say that out loud when I noticed that the other girls weren't exactly smiling.

"Is this a bad thing?" I asked.

"Yes!" Chelsea exclaimed. "This means we are officially the only cheer squad in the county with old, outdated uniforms."

Kimber pulled out her phone, showing me a picture of them in their current uniforms. They were red and white and...dull. Like, stock photo of a cheerleader type of dull. "The vice principal refuses to let us upgrade," she frowned.

"He said it's not in the budget," Jem sighed.

"Why not earn the money yourself?" I suggested.

"You mean have a bake sale or something?" Riley asked and I nodded.

"It's what Ads—my old school did," I said, a heat rising up the back of my neck as I hoped the didn't catch my slip up.

It was silent as the girls exchanged looks. They were most likely mulling over my suggestion, but the little, nagging voice in my head told me they were judging me.

"No," Chelsea said, breaking the silence. "It won't work. No one here cares about the cheerleader's uniform. Also, none of us can bake."

"Well, we don't have to bake," Kimber pointed out.

"We can sell jewelry or have a car wash," Jem added.

"If we have a car wash my dad can throw in some free air fresheners," Riley said.

"Aren't those already free?" Kimber asked.

"Have you met my dad? He's a Scrooge."

"Whatever, it doesn't matter anyway because Coach G won't go along with it," Chelsea mumbled, taking a sip of her water. "She wants us in those 1950's uniforms because anything from this century is too 'flashy'."

They continued debating the idea and I allowed myself to breathe. As I continued eating my chicken sandwich I couldn't help thinking about the cheer uniforms. I never paid much attention to them before because I wasn't the school spirit type.

Now that my creative side was no longer dormant it was hard for me not to think of designing clothes, or in this instance cheerleading uniforms.

+ + +

After dinner, my mind was still buzzing with ideas for cheer uniforms. It was difficult for me to focus on my homework when my mind kept wandering off. The margins of my math homework was full off doodles.

The need to sketch wasn't going anywhere soon. Pushing aside my work, I pulled out my old sketchbook and started putting my ideas on paper.

I didn't know a lot about cheerleaders or their uniforms or if my designs were actually functional, but in my opinion they were cute. That's the only opinion that mattered, considering no one else was allowed to see my design book. Not even Mom, no matter how much she begged.

It was my own little escape world. The one place I didn't have to hide from my past. After the accident, I stopped doing everything, except sketching. It was like my hand had a mind of it's own when an idea came to me.

My phone rang. The call came from an unknown number and I hesitated to answer it. Who else could be calling but Mom? I had to change my cell number twice after the accident because of all the calls and texts. What if they got ahold of my number again?

The ringing stopped and I tried to focus back on my sketch. A few moments later my phone chimed, alerting me to a text message.

That time there was no hesitation as I reached for the phone, opening the message.

Why didn't u answer the phone heffa?

I sighed in relief, laughing a little when I realized it was only Nikki. Hitting redial, I called my cousin back. It was refreshing talking to someone familiar who wasn't my mom.

"How's the new school treating you?" she asked after answering the phone.

"Good so far," I replied honestly. "I made a few new friends."

She gasped dramatically. "Loren Reed has friends who aren't blood related? I think hell just froze over."

"Trust me, I'm just as surprised as you are," I admitted.

There was a short pause before she spoke again. "Speaking of friends...one of your old friends was asking about."

My chest tightened, making it hard to get words out. "Who?"

"Jerrell."

That name brought on a rush of memories I thought I had buried years ago. "When did this happen? What did you tell him?"

"Today. He transferred to my school," she said. "And I didn't tell him anything."

I slumped back against the dining room chair I sat in. "Thank you." The last thing I needed was anyone from my past resurfacing. Especially old boyfriends.

"Anyways, you have new friends now, what's the next step of your plan?"

I thought about that for a moment. "I think I should get my grades up before the semester ends," I said.

At the moment I was getting straight C's, something I desperately needed to change.

"You're still coming down here for Halloween, right?" She asked. "I can help you out."

"I'll be there," I scoffed. "But I doubt you'll be helping me with school work. If this is anything like last year you won't even be sober enough to remember my name."