Engineering Moon and the Crazy Doctor [Completed]

36. Coming back

"I remember telling you not to ride your motorbike again, isn't it?" Beam breaks the silence after a moment or so.

But it's something I wasn't expecting of. So, I was able to only reply a dim-witted 'huh?'

"Or you think you're so cool on it? Do you know how irritating it was to listen to those nurses' ceaseless chat about the 'cool, handsome' guy in black motorbike at the parking lot?" he nonchalantly asks.

"Really?" I never thought there are people noticing me since I always choose the less visible place yet perfect for my secret surveillance. However, when he shoots me a dagger-like gaze, it's a sign that I have to change my reply. "I mean, I wasn't there for them, so I don't really care."

"Yeah, right. You are there for doc Pete."

"Hell, no!" He. Knows. It? O_O not that we're doing strange thing for him not to know. I'm just surprised that he knows... "I am only meeting him because of you. He's my friend and fortunately working in the same ward as you..." geez, should I say it? I suppose, I have. "...Because you said you want to be alone for a while, but I can't rest without knowing your condition, thus I asked Pete a favor of taking care of you while you're in the hospital... at the same time, telling me your...activities..."

Oh, shit. I feel like I'm so screwed. Basically, I defy all his will.

"You are one stupid man," he mutters, then swiftly snatches the helmet on my hand to shove it in my head. It puts me in a total bafflement, and as I am about to remove it, Beam hits my hand away. "I figure out, you're much better in your stupid helmet."

Woaa~ he's...incomprehensible.

Beam turns his eyes back to the house ahead, then ask, "So, what did doc Pete say?"

I'm hearing him perfectly, right? Instead of castigating me for what I did, he's asking what my friend reported...

Because of the helmet I'm in, I have to speak louder so I can be audible. "He said that you were doing fine... You're now laughing with their jokes unlike on the day after..." I can't bear to say it. It has a great blow on him.

"After N' Lily passed away," he continues. His face is blank, but his fists are tightly clenched. "I was looking pathetic and loser on that day. I talked to no one. I wandered around the hospital like a zombie. And I stared on the white wall as if Leonardo's Mona Lisa was painted on it. thus, I was pretty much a hell, I think, even until now."

"Are you still thinking it was your fault?" because it's not yours. It's mine for acting so carelessly.

"There were nights I thought of the possible scenarios if ever I did not leave her until I was certain she's stable... but then, it's useless for I can't turn back time and redo my action."

"Beam, I'm so sorr–"

"Tsk! Asking me if I'm blaming myself for what happened, yet here you are doing it. Again, it's not your fault. You just did what you think is right."

"Then you don't have to blame yourself, too. Yes, you vowed to save people's lives. But, doctors are humans, too. You can't always control its final outcome. I understand that it's hard for you to mourn because you have to pretend that it didn't happen, so you can attend to your other patients. You have to hide your tears because you have to show their families you're stronger for them to lean on..."

"..."

"Beam... it isn't your fault, just like what you're saying that it isn't mine." I don't know if he'll get what I mean, but I just want to tell him that no one's blaming him for it. Everything has a reason, right? Every action has a consequence we'll just know in the end, yet we must accept and learn from it with a brave heart...

"You're pretty talkative tonight," Beam remarks, then he stands up. "I'm tired. We should probably rest up."

He walks toward the small gate of their house, not even giving his comment to what I say. Did I piss him off? Crap... Meanwhile I remain seated on my place where I'll continue watching over him. He may not say anything much, I feel like my energy is renewed after seeing and talking with him even for a while...

But then, he suddenly turns back his head to me.

"What are you waiting for? Christmas?"

"Huh?" I knot my forehead.

"There are too much mosquitoes here outside. And I presume you would rather watch over me inside the house. It's more comfortable, you know. Unless, you prefer the hard way."

What?! "Does it mean... you're now allowing me to be with you?"

He rolls his eyes. "Figure it out yourself. I'm too tired to spell it out for you." And he enters their mansion, but leaves the gate open for me.

"Lock the gate when you enter," he adds from the inside.

Though, I'm confuse, I quickly follow him before he changes his mind. I suppose, it's a first sign that he's coming back to me... 

I'm glad for it...

******

A/N

Just like the title of the previous chapter, I was lost and devastated these past days...will not be going through the details, but I'm so sorry for the longgggg delay. And Thank you so much for  the undying support.

Love you all ♥♥♥

Survey: who will be coming to the fan gathering on Oct. 15??