33. I'm not possessive

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Nong Lily has been stabled...

...for now.

The emergency happened when she has suddenly collapsed due to exhaustion. Her brothers have come today to pay a visit to her. They haven't seen their little sister for a long time, and Lily has been so happy to be with them. Their simple visitation leads to their play time which made them forget that N'Lily must not get too tired.

Again, she has a weak heart which isn't threatening back then. A regular check-up and maintenance can give her a normal life. Unfortunately, as time passes by and there were some sessions the family chose to skip before, her case hasn't been closely monitored. Her heart becomes weaker, at the same time her other organs have started to deteriorate, too, since there is a fault with the supplier of the necessary minerals and nutrients to the body. We're actually lucky to somehow stabilize N'Lily's vitals. But from now on, she has to wear a nasal cannula to regulate her oxygen.

If we want to fully cure her, there's one way for us to do that: a heart transplant.

And right now, my senior resident has been talking with the family of Nong Lily at his office while I remain at her room to watch over her...

She's sleeping, but her pain is quite evident on her face. Why does an angel like her has to suffer in such a young age? She should be in a playground with her friends rather than lying in a hospital. If her family agreed there is no guarantee that she will be totally cured of her illness, but one thing is for sure, she'll get to live a life like those healthy chilren for a longer time and fulfill her dream. N'Lily has been like my little sister (though she calls herself as my wife), I want to see her grow like a normal child.

Once the attending nurse comes, I get this opportunity to leave the room for a while. 

I lean on the white wall as I take a deep breath to stable my own system. Receiving an emergency call from her room, totally shaken my whole being. I never thought it would be like this. I almost panicked and felt like my limbs lost its strength. I was just able to pull myself together when I was reminded what I was supposed to be at all times.

I am a doctor. I must be always rational to save life anytime and anywhere.

But still, it feels so horrible once an important person in your life is in danger. You tend to forget all the knowledge you've learnt and been learning.

Suddenly, my phone rings. It takes me a great effort to fish it out of my pocket as I still feel so enervated.

"Hello?" I say weakly without looking at the caller's ID, while tightly shutting my eyes.

It is quite for a moment before the person in the other line speaks.

"Beam...? Is something wrong?"

Instantly, my eyes fly open upon hearing that deep baritone voice.

"Forth!" I blurt in higher tone that I have to look around to see if I have disturbed the others. Luckily, there's no one in my vicinity.

"Is something wrong, Beam?" he asks again. "You seem to be not in your usual state when you answer my call... Are you okay?"

Am I okay?

"Yeah, I am okay," I reply, though I am not sure myself if I am really okay. But hearing his voice gives tranquility to my system. "I am just...tired, perhaps. There's a lot of things that happened today so, I am being like this.... Anyway, why did you call? Are you driving home?" He usually calls me whenever he's going home as I am doing the same, to inform one another. It's a habit we form even before we started living together.

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