Engineering Moon and the Crazy Doctor [Completed]

36. Coming back

Few minutes later, he goes out of the hospital. Every time I will be seeing him, there's always an urge within me to feel him in my arms. Except, I can't possibly do it. I respect his decision of being alone. At the same time, for me, it's little price I have to pay for my idiocy, though I am terribly missing him.

My motorbike is parked several blocks from his car, yet enough for me to see his movements. When he drives away, I promptly follow him as I want to make sure that he will arrive at his father's home, no, mansion safe.

Once again, I hide my presence through the dark corner of their street. When his car has entered the household, it's the time I'll make my way in front of the mansion to watch over his room, the one with cherubim on the balustrade of the the balcony, in the second floor. No need to ask how I know it since I've been here several times.

I thought, this night will be the same as the other nights. Nothing unusual will happen. I'll be looking after him from a far till dawn, then head home to prepare for my work. Just like that because I am willing to wait until he copes with his grief. 

However, I almost jump and hide to the nearest hole I could find when suddenly, Beam comes out. I quickly put my helmet on, and try to pretend I am just some bystander.

I dare not to turn at his way, though I can feel his eyes boring on me. I am in debate whether I'll start the engine on and speed away, or stay where I am because he might not have recognized me. 

Maybe, he forgets something and is just about to get it. Anyway, I'm hidden in the dark...right?

"Aren't you getting tired with your helmet on? You can take it off. You're not on the road."

I jolt from my place and nearly stumble by a stone I accidentally step on as I automatically turn where he's now standing. He moves like a cat, I didn't hear anything... Or I was just busy contemplating on what to do that I did not notice his approach?

"Forth. Stop acting like you're just stranger passing by. I know your bike and your silhouette even with that stupid helmet."

Oh, well. Who says I could hide from him? But...the way he talks and the reason he's now talking to me... Does it mean...?

I remove my helmet, and it feels like a hundred years since the last time we have faced each other. His face has a three-day worth of stubble, showing his struggles for the past days. His eyes are also a bit sunken because of sleepless nights and overwork. I think, he got thinner, too, as his cheekbones become more prominent. I want to hold him, to console him in my embrace. It's just that, I need to stop myself before I can commit another mistake. I won't dare to touch him, unless he permits me to.

I take a step backward to give him more space, just in case he needs it. Beam, then, quirks his brow.

"Tsk. Finding me hideous?" he remarks, emotionless.

"No!" I quickly reply before he misunderstands my action. "I'll never find you hideous...I just thought you wanted some space... and I don't know if I can promise to hold myself back from touching you when you're within my proximity."

Beam stares at me. His face is void of any emotion, making me more fidgety because I have no idea how to deal with it.

Then suddenly, he sits on the sidewalk. Another unusual thing I've seen from him. I am waiting for him to tell me to go, or to vent out all the frustrations he has at the moment, yet it never comes. He's just looking at the distance as if he could see the inside of the house.

I stay on my place, watching his side profile which is partly illuminated by the yellow light from post lamp. He is quiet. Once I could no longer take it, I sit beside him, but still maintaining a safe distance between us.