Life Of Grade 5

Chapter 3 - Doing What a Fifth Grader Does

It's our recess time. Lisa, Wendy and I walk out of our classroom with our things for our next class after recess. While we are heading down the ramp going to the first floor, I hear Cartmen and his friends talk. 

"Hey! You know what guys? Karys looked at me today!" Cartmen boasts. "Yeah, what the fuck do you guys have with your girls?!" 

I would never think that Karys would ever have a crush on Cartmen, but she's human. 

"Ha! Like Karys will ever be your girlfriend, you fatass!" Teases Kyle.

"SHUT UP, YOU FUCKING JEW!" Cartmen yells. Wendy is about to say something, until I tell her not to get into their business. 

We reach the outdoor canteen in the first floor and set our bags down to the fourth table on the left. 

"Hey guys, what shall we do?" Lisa asks.

"I guess we could walk around the school and talk?" I suggest to Wendy and Lisa. Both of them just nod and we do exactly what I suggested. 

"I can't believe that our teacher was the consitpated bird or fish," I say remarkebly. Yes, our teacher was the constipated bird. But to me it looks like a fish, I don't know! Basically this Birdyfish is gay, and all he teaches us in class is how to be gay. We also have an assistant teacher who was also gay. I don't get it, why does this school have to many gay people? 

"Yeah! I don't get it! We're girls, we don't need gay lessons. And I think that Mr. Slave--Let's call him gayman-- is also gay" Wendy says, continuing what I just said.

"Ha! Same!" Lisa says, agreeing to Wendy. 

- - - - -

Recess has ended and the class is going to P.E. which is held in the gym. As soon everyone arrives, we are all sitting on the cold floor. 

"Alright, class! You all know me right?" Our P.E. teacher, Coach Gay, starts to say. We all nod. "Okay, our first unit is soccer--" We all yell except for some of the girls. "Everyone grab one soccer ball each and head to the field." We all do as what we were told.

We all did drills--If you haven't heard of drills, it is techniques that you can do while playing a game--and some of us suck at it. 

"Ha! Ha! Cartmen sucks at soccer! He can't ever turn the ball 150 degrees!" One of our classmate teases once he sees Cartmen fail more than us.

"SHUT UP BITCH!" He yells back.

"Hey, why did you say that nasty word, Cartmen?" Coach Gay asks.

"He was teasing me! And that was so not cool!" Cartmen replies.

"Come here, both of you"

"Ugh! But that's too much walking! And that is so.. Not.. COOL!" Cartmen complains.

The both of them walk to Coach Gay and I can hear what Coach Gay is saying.

"Ok, why don't you both put one hand on your hips and sway when you walk." 

And they both did! I swear, they both look like gay people! I stop with my drills and look at them for a while. 

Coach Gay is handing them purses for each and tells them to wave like a model (it was either that or Miley Cyrus) and do a flying kiss. Everyone starts laughing. 

"ALL OF YOU SHUT UP! ESPECIALLY YOU, YOU FUCKING JEW!" Cartmen yells at everyone, very angrily. 

The bell rings which means that P.E. class has ended. We all walk to the bathroom to get changed.

Once Wendy, Lisa and I comes in the bathroom we all say "The aircon!" at the same time and hear some chatting:

"You know that Cartmen guy is so cute!" 

"Agh! I know right! He's such a chubby baby!"

"I didn't mean it like that! I mean like handsome kind of cute"

"Well, then there's something wrong with you!"

The two girls come out of the bathroom stall and we recognize who they are.

It was Karys and Alyssa. 

They both stop when they saw us and we pretend nothing happened and just walk to the bathroom stall and change.