If We Exist

9.

It was by pure chance that my eyes caught the long scar running along his palm, up the side of his wrist. I instinctively reached over the table when he drew closer to position his passenger. At my light touch, he skittered back in his chair, alarmed. I retracted my hand.

- Your palm, I said. Yuri's face relaxed a notch. He turned his left-hand palm-side-up so that I could see, but he didn't bring it any closer.

The sheen of the scar caught the light and set it apart from the rest of his skin. The cut started at a point near the center of his palm and followed a clean path along one of his natural lines till it curved up his wrist. Intuition told me it was self-inflicted; the clean line, the preciseness of the cut, it was all too beautiful to be accidental. The sight beckoned me closer until I was sat on the edge of my chair. I wanted to run my hand over it, to feel it. The thought aggregated in my mind, a pool of wants, but I didn't dare.

- It's a blood oath, Yuri explained.

- It's a Brommian thing.

I must have looked confused because he reached out and grabbed my hand. This time, it was I that was taken aback. His fingers were cold as they turned my palm upside.

- Millin took his father's hunting knife and cut-, Yuri traced a path down the length of my palm with his forefinger, - first his hand and then mine. And then we let the blood drip onto the soil in his backyard...in the flatlands.

Yuri's gaze held mine intently, almost as if he saw his own words reflected my pupils. Whatever he read on my face made his expression soften. He formed a fist with my hand with both of his wrapped around mine, mimicking pressing the blood out from the wound.

- Then, you say your promise. You spit on the soil and you place your cut hand on top of the earth. That's how you take a blood oath. The earth keeps your promise forever. But if you break it, it will curse you on the Day of Judgement.

I was so enraptured by this piece of information that I forgot that we still held hands, long after his last word.

- What did you promise? I asked.

- That Millin would always be my brother, and that I would protect him.

I was so jealous my words dripped green with envy.

- Did it hurt?

He shook his head. - You shouldn't do it all the time though.

- But can't Millin protect himself? I asked. - Is he getting bullied?

I hadn't heard of this at school. If anything, Millin was the bully. He was tall like Yuri but almost twice his size in stoutness. He was unruly and disruptive. I had always been a little intimidated by him.

Yuri smiled faintly. - No.

He slowly untangled his hands from around mine. The contrast in temperatures exacerbated the sudden distance between us. He inched back in his chair.

Yuri wouldn't look me in the eyes.

- He's my best friend. He's like a brother,.

I swallowed down the volatile feelings which flared up in my chest and forced a smile.

- Like my Adriana, I said.

- Yeah...but we fight more because we're guys.

- We fight too.

Yuri raised his eyebrows. - You can't fight with a girl.

I shrugged. - She's older than me.

-Why did you push her out...back then?