broken crayons

violet

p r e s e n t

this is the last time i'm coming here. i think,
correction: i hope,
as i walk through the white hallways of my least favourite place in the universe.

the cracked tiles seem to be on the verge of giving up today, but i can't blame them. can i?

they carry the heaviest souls on earth each day.

they look up at me, as if bidding me farewell. or maybe welcome. i can't tell.

i smile at the 1024th one i remember so well from the day of your first check-up since i took you home.

i step into the most familiar room here. the curtains nod at me, and the bedsheets say hello.

two pink flowers from yesterday stand tall in the vase.

the nurse arrives with a smile a few moments later.

she says it'll only take a few minutes to do the paperwork, and then i can leave this place once and for all.
'is my fear for hospitals too obvious?', i wonder.

she starts filling the blank spaces on the printed sheet.

your name.

your date of birth.

(reading it, i come to know that you and ma were born on the same day. but that doesn't surprise me.)

time of treatment.

payment for treatment.

my name.

my relationship with you...

before i open my mouth, she nods at me and scribbles down something.

"you deserve it."

she says. before giving me a carbon copy of the paper.

i stare at word she had written on the last blank.

daughter.