Robin; Kids at 19

13

13

Our first night with the children was long. El and I got maybe three hours sleep in total, which is nothing. They both needed feeding every two hours or so and El was nervous that she would hurt them in the process so I sat in accompaniment to every feed to assure her she was doing okay. It wasn’t just that Imogen and Ignatius wanted to be fed and changed regularly as to why we achieved so little sleep, when they were quiet our bedroom was too quiet and El couldn’t help but feverishly check they were still breathing every time her anxieties grew. Eventually I got up and connected her iPod to the bedroom speakers, setting it to play Fats Domino ever so softly to try and keep her calm.

 It kind of worked and we got a solid two hours sleep before Natey started to whimper again. By then it was quarter to seven and I was tired of trying to sleep so I got up after El fed him and dressed him ready for the day. When I was complete El had fed Imogen as well and had fallen asleep in a tangle of sheets and pillows. She frowned slightly in her sleep as the sunlight peeked through a gap in the curtain and fell on her face. She had purple bags under her eyes and her hair was a wild tangled mane that curled among the bedding. She looked absolutely exhausted.

I bundled Imogen up and carried both children into her room. I set Nate down in Immy’s crib whilst I dressed her then took them both downstairs and laid them both on the padded play mat that El and I had rolled out in the living room. They didn’t play on it, obviously, but they remained their, quite content to lie on their backs and observe each other and me for a short time before they fall asleep again.

 I sigh and place them both in Imogen’s pram, which remained under the window, so they would be more comfortable. I turn on the television and flick through the channels quietly. Mostly it was kids programs and the news. I pause on one programs directed at young children to gauge what we would be in for in the following few years. The minute or so I watched of it was intriguing.

 I never remember any of the programs I watched as a kid being that educational, but this one was all about sign language. I’ve never really come into contact with sign language or deaf people before but it was strangely hypnotic to watch. I was tempted to flick onto the AV channel and practice at Halo before Noel arrived but I found I was transfixed by the abstract story line filled with odd little hand shapes and soon I abandoned trying to be a grown up and sat on the sofa with a mug of coffee and copied the hand motions on the telly.

 It was half eight when I text Noel. He didn’t reply until eleven by which time El had trundled downstairs and snuggled up with me on the sofa to watch children’s programs with me. Well I watched them. She fed Nate and Immy and yawned into my shoulder before falling asleep in my lap. I stroked her crazy hair while she slept before Noel replied with:

See you in twenty. Callie is coming too.

I started to brush El’s hair out to save her a job but she woke after a short while because she had so many knots. She smiled and kissed me for trying then continued from where I left off.

“I made a doctors appointment for four this afternoon. It’s for both of them so we know everything is okay.” She says.

“Oh also Noel and Callie at going to be here in about five minutes.” I add. She jumps then cringes.

“Ow” she cradles her stomach, which was still pretty prominent after not yet having recovered from carrying Nate these last nine months, and snuffles into my shoulder.

“Are you okay? Can I get you anything El?” I ask concerned. She shakes her head.

“You sure. I could make you a hot water bottle if you want?” I suggest. She nods and I get up to comply. As I wait for the kettle to boil I hear the front gate buzz for access so I answer the receiver and let Noel in. I hear his car approach on the gravel and then the slam of car doors and he and Callie exit their vehicle. One of them taps the front door and I answer with excited greetings. It had been so long since I actually saw Noel I couldn’t really remember the last time clearly but since then he seamed to have been through a subtle change. He still wore his New-Romantic velvet jacket and had small delicate lines of black and white eyeliner under his eyes but he looked generally a whole lot healthier. His cheeks weren’t as hollow as I was accustomed to and his blue eyes were bright with sunlight rather than dull and hidden behind dark glasses to keep the sun away from his hangover.