Black Veil Brides: Carolyn

Chapter 8: Taking Away The Pain

|~*~Carolyn~*~|

Tuesday, November 1

Carolyn stirred in her sleep. She was awake, but still had her eyes shut. She didn't want to get up yet. This was the best sleep she's had in years. Then she realized a pair or arms were around her, as if they were protecting her. She opened her right eye slightly and she saw part of a white button down shirt stained with fake blood. Andy.

She closed her eye again and rested her head on his chest. Then she realized that there was a blanket on them. That wasn't there last night. she thought. Maybe Andy put it on us. Or, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment, his mom did.

She felt Andy move a little in his sleep. No, please don't wake up., she thought. She was too comfortable to get up yet, but sadly, he woke up.

“Carolyn, are you awake?” he asked in a groggy voice.

“Yeah.” she said and opened her eyes. She lifted her head and met his eyes. Then remembered why she was here and lowered her head again. She sighed.

Andy knew what she was thinking about. “Do you wanna talk about it?” he asked cautiously.

Her mom always told her that telling people what was going on would make her feel better. And talking to Andy about those two things that day at the park did make her feel a bit better.

“I've had a hard life,” she started. She took a deep breath in order to continue, “ever since I was little. First, I was a premature baby. That's the reason I'm smaller than other girls my age, which isn’t too bad. But being premature also meant that some of my organs weren't fully developed yet. My lungs weren't ready. I could breathe, but not much. So when I was born, the doctors kept me in the hospital with an oxygen mask for a month, since that's how early I was. So at times, it’s a little hard for me to breathe.”

“When I was nine, I went to the doctor for a checkup. They took a sample of my blood, and what they found wasn’t good. I had cancer. I lived with it until when I was thirteen, and after all the treatment, it finally went away. Then things got better for a while, until...” she sniffled. “One day my mom was coming back from the funeral home. She was a mortician. On her way back, she got into a car crash with a drunk driver and was put into a coma. She was in it for two weeks before waking up. But she still wasn’t okay enough to come home. Then, she had a heart attack. The doctors did all they could, but finally, they told my dad and I that the life support wouldn't be enough. So the doctors took her off life support and she died an hour later.” he wiped her eyes. “After my mom's death, my dad wasn't the same. He started drinking more, going to friends’ houses and not coming back for hours. He started to blame me for my mom dying, even though I didn't do anything. And finally, he took it out on me… started beating me. If I hadn't run away with you last night, I would've gotten another beating after you would've left.”

She let her tears come out, but she wasn't bursting into hysterics. She had done enough of that before, but thinking about all that had happened to her in her 17 years was still hard.

“Carolyn, you're not alone. I've met tons of Black Veil Brides fans that have gone through some of the same things you have. You're not alone.” Andy was quiet for some time, letting those last three words repeat in his head. You're not alone... Maybe I can put that in the song I'm working on. “Does anyone besides me know all of this?”

“CC knows everything except my dad beating me,” she said. “I couldn't bear to see his reaction. His family lived with us in Nebraska before they came here last year. At that time, he would come over and try to make me feel better. Like acting like a complete idiot around the family. And he got really protective of me during middle school until finally I told him to stop when we were freshman in high school. He got less protective. If I didn't tell him to stop, he wouldn't even let me hang out with you by myself. He'd insist on being with me twenty-four seven.”