❝Hi, welcome to our porn site tech support, how may I help you?❞
In which a crazy girl calls a porn tech support because she was logged out of her account.
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dante | nova
[CALL]
"Hey, what are you up to?"
"S'up, Dante. Wait, are you calling me?"
"What? I call! Occasionally...I don't know I just miss the sound of your voice."
"Awwww, anyway aren't you supposed to be studying?"
"I know I should since my economics lecturer is a genuine piece of shit and I have to teach myself the whole syllabus...but I just needed to take a break."
"Smoking up?"
"How do you know?"
"I can hear your pipe going off."
"Oh, shit, okay. So...uh, how was your day?"
"You called me on your study break while you're rolling a joint to just ask me that?"
"What? I need to hear about the lives of others in order to clear my head, which is spinning with supply and demand graphs, monetary policies and below-trend inflation."
"Okay, okay...so nothing much happened today, lmao. My boss highkey insulted me though. I came in with no makeup today and he was like 'Oh Nova, are you sure you want to come in today?' and I was like what? And he was like 'you look sick'. Which, you know, makes me feel so good about myself."
"Wow, jeez."
"I got my payback though. When he was carrying some supplies to the storeroom, he expected me to open the door for him and I DIDN'T."
"OUCH."
"I know, right?"
"It's expected. Canadians are trilingual. We speak English, French and Passive-Aggressive."
"Accurate. Anyway, it's whatever. I plan to just drink my troubles and debt away tonight."
"Going out?"
"Yep. It's the usual. Alcohol, low standards, poor decisions, and regret."
"Is it even a night out without those things?"
"Amen. It's like 'Hey boy, you my GPA? Cuz I know I can do better but I'm too lazy to try'."
"Fuckboys are a necessary evil. They're lessons to be learned."
"Or....like waxing your vagina, teaching you 'never again' but a few months later 'shouldn't hurt'."
"Yikes. Anyway, I should probably get back to the books. Gotta break out the bleach and everything."
"No need to do that. Marrying Courtney Love should do the trick for you."
"And you said I'm shady..."
"Dante, I sprinkle the salt but you bring the goddamn salt shaker."
"I like my beef salted, I can't help it. Either way, go have fun tonight, don't do drugs alone, always carry a switchblade, a rape whistle, and ibuprofen."
