101 Days of Heartbreak Series Book 1: Letters of Heartbreak

Chapter 19

Dear Kamita, 

A woman's first time should be special, they all say. 

If we ask the old generation--- our grandpas and grandmas in particular-they will always say surrender your purity only after marriage. It's the best gift a wife can give to her husband. 

Parents have varied opinions nowadays. Some inherited their parents' dogmatism about sex after marriage only. Some are liberated and just say "as long as you don't come home untimely pregnant, it's fine. You're old enough to know about your responsibilities." Some are just romantic at heart. "If you love someone, there is no need to wait. Just be careful," is their mantra. 

My first time was not special at all although it happened with a special person.  

Er... there's just something wrong with that statement, right? Well, yes, there is. It happened with a special person, but that person was special to me in a different way. 

My first time was with Ruyu, as you and Gene both know by now. 

It had been an accident.  

If there's one thing Ruyu and I had shared a lot during that time, it was academic stress. Gene was always there to cheer us on or help us relieve this stress, but most of the time his methods couldn't work. One of those methods, was in fact the reason why it happened.  

When Ruyu and I had come home after a gruesome PR Defense, Gene was waiting for us with dinner. The intent was good, but the method was not. The kitchen was a disaster. The food was burnt. The music was loud. 

Ruyu had snapped. He had said some mean things to Gene and Gene, who was both surprised and hurt, couldn't take it. He left to get drunk with his other friends. 

I couldn't blame Gene. That's how he was; still is. He's really still a kid at heart. He copes with his pain the way he wants to and I had always admired him for that. 

Stupid Ruyu had cried when Gene had left. Of course he didn't mean it! In fact all he had wanted to do all day was to go home and see Gene's smile.  

But it was the situation which was at fault. Gene had done the right thing at the wrong time. 

So we had gotten drunk or more like I had gotten drunk with Ruyu so he wouldn't be alone while he's blaming himself for Gene leaving.  

Poor alcohol--- it's always the number one thing to blame whenever an unfortunate thing happens to people. 

So... it had happened. I had woke up with a sore head and a sore lower region with a very naked Ruyu beside me. 

Motherfucker--- was the first word that came into my mind. When Ruyu had opened his eyes and realized why I had woken him up, he voiced out the same word, but this time through his lips. 

Thank God even in his most drunk state, he had been responsible and had worn a condom or else... I don't even want to think about it. 

We had acted awkward for a week after that until we both had enough of it and talked. The talk had gone well-I guess that had been easy because we both knew what we really were for each other. Still, I told him to tell Gene because I knew how much it would hurt him. It needed to be Ruyu because it was his and Gene's feelings at stake. 

I had needed to talk to someone too and well... who else will I run to?  

So I had told you. 

Your reaction was quite... confusing, yet again. 

------ 

Kamita was quiet as Ateera finished confessing to him. No sound can be heard except the two angry voices outside her room, which only meant Ruyu had told Gene. Ateera stroke Sashimi's fur as she nervously waited for a word from her friend. She had snatched Sashimi from Gene and brought her to her room when Ruyu signaled her. The big dog had been sleeping on her bed since.