Broken Strings

C H A P T E R N I N E T E E N

But it also left cuts on her wrists, broken pieces of her heart and forgotten love that she had once felt.

She stood up and rushed out of the ice cream without a single word, keeping her gaze on the floor tiles because she couldn't stop crying. She refused to let her kids see her crying over the heartbreak she had been suffering with for years.

But she had. She had been crying for years. Her mother was right. She was just a foolish little girl, blinded by a chance at love.

A pathetic woman who had held onto nothing. Held onto a hope that in the end, everything would work out. That they would be okay, together. That he would always love her.

She pushed open the door, smiling and sighing as she was met with a cool breeze. A fresh cool August breeze quickly drying her tears.

And she looked up to the stars. They weren't smiling down at her anymore. But still, they were shining. Sparkling in the dark and dull sky.

Just like she had for years.

Just like she had forced herself to take the pills to help with depression. Just like she was still taking pills to help with her blood production.

But stars don't shine every night. And Anisha had shined enough.

It wasn't enough today.

But she still smiled.

She had been happy, once, long ago. She had been loved.

But now, her story was ending.

And it was okay. Because once upon a time, Anisha Hayes had a perfect ending.

And she looked around at the world around her. Smiling.

She couldn't help but remember how that day was so similar to today.

It was the same gentle summer breeze. And the starry sky was shining just bright. And the palm trees swayed gently.

And she spun around once, with joy and happiness. Twirling, shining with hope.

Her eyes darting from the tall palm trees to the bright lights from the amusement park. And she turned around, towards the ice cream shop, the ice cream shop that had given her hope and promise of a happy future, only to find Andrew standing a few feet away from her.

His hands stuffed in the pockets of his pants and a soft smile adorning his lips.

"Anisha." Her name was a soft whisper on his lips. And she listened to him say it with so much care and admiration. Perhaps for the last time.

But she didn't say a single word as he took small steps closer to her.

And then he was standing in front of her.

She had suffered enough for him. She had stayed long enough.

But still. He had loved her at some point. Even if it was a long time ago.

And she still didn't say anything as he placed his hands on her waist, pulling her closer to him.

She didn't know why but he was looking at her with so much love and admiration. He was looking at her the same way he had been, eighteen years ago, when he had first confessed he loved her.

It was just the two of them, under the California sky. There was a gentle breeze. And the lights were bright. The stars were shining. Everything around them was beautiful.

Full of promise and love.

And he was staring at her, so intently, like she was all he ever wanted. Like all he ever needed.

And just once, she wanted him to care. Just once.

She needed him to care.

And he did.

She didn't pull away this time. Even though he was expecting her to. He leaned in, very slowly, almost afraid that she would pull away from him just like she had at his birthday ball.

But she didn't.

She didn't pull away this time. Because she wanted one last act of care. Because she wanted one last act of desire. Because she wanted one last act of love.

She wanted to be that foolish teenage girl again. The girl who had been obsessed with a perfect ending and a prince charming. The foolish girl who had been swayed by the idea of love.

Because long ago, she had been loved.

They had loved. Long ago. They had fallen apart. Some time ago. She was near her end. Not too far from now.

And this, this was what she wanted. She wanted to be loved. She wanted to be loved by him.

She closed her eyes and leaned towards him.

And his lips slowly met hers, holding desperation and want. Slowly but passionately, he showed her he still cared. He still loved her.

And she let him kiss her.

One last time.

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Look, Anisha is very depressed. She is broken and lacks any kind of self-confidence and self-worth. It isn't easy being happy. It's something she has to force herself to do.

Andrew is safe. Andrew is a constant and she always runs back to him.

And the ice cream shop is special for her because it's where she fell in love. It's holds promises of love and hope. And now, it's her entire life coming around in a circle as she comes to terms with her past and her sickness.

This is Anisha Hayes giving up.

I'm just going to leave this quote here because it's perfect to describe her.

"Depression is being colorblind and constantly being told how colorful the world it."

- atticus