Broken Strings

C H A P T E R N I N E T E E N

Everything around her was beautiful. And she felt beautiful as she sat in the same ice cream shop where exactly eighteen years ago, Andrew had first told her he loved her.

It was a perfect evening.

She was surrounded by her kids and her husband.

Summer evenings were Anisha's favorite. There was just something special about summer days and nights. It was as if they held some kind of promise. Some kind of promise about happiness and carefreeness.

And she loved it. She had always loved it.

It was all perfect.

She took a small bite of strawberry ice cream. She wasn't hungry. She didn't eat much. But it was her favorite.

And she wanted to try it. She wanted to taste her favorite ice cream, for the last time.

She couldn't help but feel happy.

But it was a sad kind of happy.

Ryan's voice and Mira's soft giggles warmed her heart.

And for the first time, in a really long time, she smiled under the summer sky. Small stars were already sparkling in the sky, the blue hues of the sky slowly darkened and the lights shined brighter than ever around the small ice cream shop, in the corner of Santa Monica. It all felt good. It felt so fucking good.

Anisha felt happy.

She felt happy for once. She didn't have to pretend because she was, she was really happy.

But she felt sad. Sad because it was as if she was seeing moments like this slip away from her grasp. Because she knew it could end any second, it could end any of these days. And she just wasn't ready.

And she couldn't help but wonder if this would be the last time she would sit and laugh with her kids. She couldn't help but wonder if she would even wake up tomorrow morning.

She could feel it. She could feel every pain, in every part of her body becoming shaper and more unbearable each time. She could feel her nosebleeds getting worse. She could feel her body slowly giving up on her.

She could feel it ending.

And still she found herself hoping that it wouldn't end.

Because she didn't want it to end.

But she knew it was. And even though she wanted to smile and laugh and enjoy, how could she? How could she when she knew the end was near?

When she knew she was running out of time.

When she knew all Andrew would even remember would be a dull woman who had once given him everything she had to offer.

And it still hadn't been enough.

When she knew all her kids would remember would be a frail lady who smiled one last time with them as they argued over ice cream and soccer.

"You don't want sprinkles on your ice cream?" Andrew looked down at the cup of strawberry, plain and pink without the excessive amount of sprinkles she always asked for.

And for the first time, in a long time, his voice held a hint of softness as he spoke to her. A softness he hoped would assure her that he was willing to try, harder than he ever had before.

She turned and looked at her husband as memories she didn't want to think about slowly came back. Memories and promises she had pushed deep down and locked away.

Memories she didn't want to think about.

Because they were the kind of memories that brought a smile to her lips but created sharp pains in her heart.