For Alice, With Love

Chapter 10 - Truce

Mel looked out the window of the barn, spying a hunched over Chris walking up the back laneway, hands in his pockets. She put down the feed bin and let out a held breath, watching him. Pearl's words echoed in her head. Her? What could she do for him that she hadn't already?

The wind was ruffling his hair, and she was again reminded of how attractive he was when he wasn't trying so hard to be tough and polished. She wanted so much to see the Chris she remembered come out of that lacquered shell, and stop pretending to be something he was not.

There was that hope again.

He wasn't this playboy he'd been trying out, and he didn't need to be so brave all the time. But she couldn't really say what he should be, any more than she could say what he had been.

He looked up, perhaps sensing her, and their eyes connected. She gave a half-hearted wave and quickly picked up the feed bucket again, embarrassed to have been caught staring. She exited the feed room just as he walked in through the door, and she pasted on a smile.

"Good walk?" she asked as nonchalantly as possible.

"Hmm. Yeah," he said absently, picking a piece of timothy out of the bale near the door, threading it through the bars of the stall one of the broodmares was in. Big, flappy lips poked through, grabbing it and quickly pulling it out of his hands.A small smile crossed his lips, and then disappeared.

"Listen—" he said abruptly, and she turned, hearing an anxious tone in his voice. She noticed the red-rimmed eyes at that point, the slightly rumpled sleeves. Oh. Another talk in the barn. This time, she was determined not to lose her cool.

"Hang on a sec," she interrupted, dumping grain into the horse's bins quickly, feeling his eyes on her as she shook the last of the mix out.

"Okay, sorry. They'll fuss," she explained, wiping her hands on her jeans. "What's up?"

He had sat on the bale now, leaning over his legs. She scooted him over and sat down beside him, bumping his shoulder with hers, trying to add some levity, or physical contact to prompt him to say what he was working up to say.

"I'm sorry about last night."

Oh. Okay. She blinked and then patted his leg. "No worries. Forgotten."

He nodded and ran hands through his hair. She liked when he did that, ruffling himself up. It made him more approachable. Strangely, more likeable. Not that a simple gesture would change a person. She focused her gaze out the door, mirroring his lean. She could wait it out, she supposed. If Pearl meant for her to be stability for her son, well, she could at least try listening to him as a first step.

"I haven't really properly apologized to you for all of this," he said finally.

"Yes you did, last night in the kitchen, before dinner," she countered, confused. "Then we went to dinner, and you were accosted by Kinky Katie."

He chuckled and a half-smile appeared. "So I did. But I mean it, Mel. I'm sorry. I'm not good about talking to people about my problems, so I just—"

"Bottle them up and do stupid things until you explode and act like a jerk so people will leave you alone?" she answered for him. That earned her another quirked half-smile and a snorted laugh.

"Yeah."

"So talk," she added, and slouched against the stall wall. "I'm listening."

He turned his head to look at her, and she raised an eyebrow up, folding her arms. If he wanted to get stuff off his chest, she would let him. Right now, he wasn't making her so angry she wanted to throw things at him. This Chris she could handle.