Falling For The Opposite of Me || jjk.

33

I just didn't love myself. And never can can I?

One part of me told me that if Yeonie found out all about the truth, she'd definitely leave me after knowing what a coward and monster I am. I didn't even tel Yoongi hyung or Jimin hyung, won't they feel betrayed after learning about this?

Just how much more complex and worse can this get?

Fresh hot tears streamed down my face as I sniffled, trying to bury my emotions as much as I could. I let thoughts and feelings take control and it all just came out.

The guilt of not telling the truth.

The worry of Saeyeon finding out and leaving me.

The fear of someone else leaving me

"How cute. The prince of Hell cowering before his father." Lucifer heartlessly commented as I felt the needle of a syringe lightly push into my restrained wrists, causing me to flinch but slowly, my vision blurred even more from the drug, I could feel my consciousness slipping away into darkness.

"No... I can't... Saeyeon, I'm so sorry... Everyone, I'm just so so sorry... Please no...." I couldn't finish my sentence as my eyelids closed by themselves, my mind was in places.

"That's right, my son. Sleep away so I can show you just how hopeless this world is. You can't ever escape your father."

Those were the words I last heard before I was gone. Suddenly, I opened my eyes to see myself in a pitch black room. My mind. I was in my mind. Looking down, I saw that I was wearing my favourite shade of white and a pair of denim skinny jeans hugged my lower half.

"It's all an illusion, Jungkook. You can fucking do this!" I desperately told myself though I knew it was all for naught. It was all useless words I randomly threw based on nothing.

Suddenly, a hole opened up in the small room and I started to fall. I turned my head to see that I was falling into an endless deep dark void that you could never crawl out of, my hand reaching up to the sky above me as I tried to spread my wings.

It didn't work, I just fell in deeper and deeper, an invisible hand wrapping itself around my throat and choking me as I tried to wrench myself free from its iron grip. I gasped for air loudly and my chest was squeezed tightly as my lungs were sucked dry of air, the scary feeling of oxygen exiting my lungs made me feel more dead inside.

And that was it. I closed my eyes and accepted it.

Harsh truths always end up this way, right? Is there any use in trying when there is no choice left?

I fell deeper.

"I'm sorry, Yeonie, Jimin hyung, Suga hyung, Namjoon, Taehyung, Seokjin. I'm sorry for everything." Whispering the last words under a tiny breath, I gave in.

I'm sorry that I can't be as strong as you all. I'm sorry that I can't handle everything as much as you all. I'm just sorry that I'm the weak one trying to be strong when I never can actually be.

My eyes slowly closed, my vision covered by my eyelids as I leaned back even further.

But right then, I heard someone calling my name and I felt light spirited all of a sudden. Lifting my head and opening my eyes, I saw a light, not blinding but like a soft warming light, illuminating the dark cage of my mind. Then, I heard her voice melodiously calling my name.