you put the O in disOrder ➢ (l.s)

O.15

(LOUIS'S POV)

Needless to say, I don't really care all that much about my fine.

That night was...

It made me fall in love with Harry.

Even more so, than I already was.

I don't just want him.

I want every piece of him.

I can't stop thinking of him.

His laugh, his smile, his dimples, his teeth, his curls.

My mind is a mess jumbled up of mental pictures of Harry.

How his lips chap red when we kiss for too long, how his long eyelash's get wet when he cries, the way he bites the skin around his nails, when he sees something he likes in a store.

I always buy it for him.

Just to see his smile.

I am totally whipped, in other words.

Things get complicated next weekend when I go to his house late on a school night.

We forgot to do an interview that day, with all the busy things going on in our lives.

Harry's grandmother passed, and it was hard for him to handle.

I hate seeing him grieve, almost as much as I hate seeing him get teased at school.

I came so close to decking this one kid square in the teeth when he tried to actually touch my baby.

In his parts, you know?

To lure him into an episode for his own sick twisted pleasure.

Anything for the laughs.

The fucking freak got down on his knees begging for forgiveness before I could even do anything though.

And I let the lucky bastard go, telling him to count his blessings.

I put my hand in Harry's hair, scratching his head lightly as he curls up on my lap and lays his head on my chest.

His mom's asleep at this point, so I had to sneak in for Harry's sake.

He's in the closet.

And so am I so...

It's not that we think our moms won't except us.

It's just not that big of a deal to bring it up.

"Alright sweetheart," I start, and he sighs deeply, hugging my neck as I record what he's going to say on my phone.

"Can you tell me the day when you found out you had RGS? How did you feel? Describe the day in detail."

He fiddles with the collar of my shirt and looks up at me, "I felt weird."

"I felt... Hopeless. Disgusted. Maybe even a little bit um... Suicidal." He says and looks down again, afraid to meet my eye when he says that.

The only thing that matters is that he doesn't want to perish now.

I've seen him smile more often.

Which is progress, right?

I egg him on silently, by kissing his forehead, and rubbing his back in soft little circles.

He continues. "I woke up a couple weeks before I was diagnosed, and it was about three a.m... It was so painful that... I don't know I felt like my cock was going to fall off."

We both laugh, and my eyes crinkle up. I hate when that happens, but Harry always tells me he likes it a lot.

I don't get him sometimes.

"When I went to my doctor... He said I had developed it. Sometimes they don't know why. Genetics maybe? They didn't know." He says and frowns after the laughter had died down.

"What do you think you'd be doing right now if you didn't have this disorder?" I ask him quietly.

"I wouldn't be with you." He says, lifting his head and looking into my eyes.

Fuck.

I stare back and he just goes deeper.

"I'd be alone. And I know that because I was alone, even when I was normal." He says, and our lips are inches away.

It's like we're magnets. And we're so close to touching, but not quite, and there's that tension in the middle.

"I wouldn't have met you. I wouldn't have fallen for you. You want to know what I'd be doing, Lou?" He asks, and instinctively I nod.

"Nothing."

_____________________

Sorry this was so short! I've been super busy lately! Studying for drivers ed, homework, doing vacation things!

What are you guys doing on vacation?

I went to an Iggy Azalea concert last night! Eeeep! She was so beautiful I love her. :) <3

Keep purrin my lil pu$$y's! (see what i did there? no? pssstt... its one of iggy's songs!)

Well, I love you all and I just wanted to say thanks for all the support on this story, because I usually try to make it as best as I can!

Muuuch love,

Amber x

(ps. This is private for some reason? Idk it really made me mad because this chapter isn't half as sexual as the other ones. Ugh. I messaged wattpad about it and I'm afraid this story might be deleted... Pray for me. Ha.)