Emotions [Dazai x Reader]

Mixed Emotions

[Y/N]
-------

"And when is it supposed to come?"

"T-ten-thirty on W-Wednesday." The girl answered, her voice wavering with fear.

I turned off the girls emotions and walked off, hearing two gun shots behind me. Another interrogation, which felt more like 21 questions, was complete.

I shoved my hands in my pocket and walked up the stairs and out of the dark basement. I reached the elevator and decided to head out to lunch.  As I left the Port Mafia doors, my phone vibrated in my pocket. I picked it up without looking at the caller ID, knowing very well who it was.

"Hello?"

Where are you, [Y/N]?

"I'm going to lunch."

Tell me where you are so we can eat together.

"I'm right outside the Port Mafia."

I caught you at a good time! I'll be down in a minute. Bye~

I hung up the phone and leaned against the wall. I wondered about yesterday, a lot. I didn't understand what he was doing. I almost wanted to ask what his ability was, but I was still unsure about it.

I feel a tap on my shoulder and look up at a bubbly Dazai. I look away and keep walking to where I initially planned on going.

"What do you plan on eating?" He asked.

"Rice bowl." I answered, as we turned a corner.

Like usual, he kept asking questions and I gave him half assed responses- which always never failed to get him into a serious and upset mood. I never bothered to ask what was wrong.

I honestly couldn't comprehend why he was still talking to me. Most everybody would leave me alone, as they grew tired of me. I felt okay talking to Chuuya and Odasaku. We didn't talk too often but when we did, it was interesting, I felt comfortable talking to them.

We got to a restaurant and ordered our food. I looked at the window next to me, I caught a faint reflection of my eyes.

My eyes widened as I noticed that they were a lot less dark than before- Due to me raising up my emotions. They almost matched Akutagawa's light gray eyes, just a few shades darker.

I looked at Dazai. His head was rested on his palm as he looked down at his food, poking the piece of meat on it- an apathetic expression on his face. His eyes met mine as he catches me gazing at him. Sun hit his uncovered brown eye, making it glow.

My mind flooded with memories him in the same position with a different expression. One moment where he was smiling and laughing lingered. I realized that he could have been like that right now if I wasn't so.. careless.

My eyes furrowed in confusion as I felt something unusual. My eyes widened as I knew that this was a new feeling. I opened my hand a looked down at.

There was a small line on my thumb and ring finger. I stopped breathing for a second. Those two had never had a line before. I looked back at Dazai who kept looking at me, his expression changed slightly as he saw my panicked one.

I looked back and forth between my hand and Dazai. The pinky, fear, rose up a little bit. I shook my head in denial. It couldn't be happening. Dazai quickly grabs my hand pulls it down, looking at the different colored lines glowing on my fingers. I saw his eyes reflecting a small rainbow. I quickly closed my and made it go away.

He opened my hand again trying to see what he had saw before.

"[Y/N], what was that? What do those colors stand for? Is that how you read people? Show me. I want to see." He said, taking his other hand and squeezing my forefinger.

I shook my head and retreated my hand. I wanted to turn those emotions off, but I couldn't because he was right there and he would know. He furrowed his eyebrows.

"Who were you reading?" He asked, I saw a glint of fear in his eyes.

I stayed silent, looking away from him. I grabbed my wallet, taking money down and putting it on the table to pay for both our meals. I got up from my seat and started walking out.

I can't let these emotions get stronger.

He quickly followed behind me, trying to get my attention. As I walked faster, outside. He grabbed my hand and pulled me to stop and face him.

Thump, thump

My eyes widened in fear as I felt him squeeze my hand.

"No.." I whispered. "Stay far, far away from me." I said, yanking my hand away and running as far as I could away from there.

I bumped into many people, running to who knows where. I didn't stop for 10 minutes, not caring if I was out of breath. I looked behind me occasionally, making sure he wasn't following me.

Eventually I came across a park. I sat down behind a tree and wiped the sweat off my forehead, trying to regulate my breathing.

This can't be happening, my abilities aren't right, there's no way

I kept questioning what was happening. I knew that my abilities weren't wrong. I knew that I was developing feelings. I knew that if that line had grew that everything would fall apart. Especially with Dazai.

I knew his abilities and mine weren't compatible with each other. Something bad was going to happen and I didn't know what that was.

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and I looked at the caller ID, it was Odasaku. I immediately picked it up.

[Y/N], where are you?

"Why do you want to know?"

Dazai-

I hung up the phone. I didn't want anything to do with Dazai. I wanted to be far away as possible from him. I would be putting myself through a lot of unnecessary pain if I let this get out of hand. I was already so close to loosing everything, why did this have to happen now?

Love was an extremely hard emotion to control. I remember messing around with it on other people. I was able to contain it and turn it off in someone. But only for about a good hour. After that, it would stay like that unless the person they love came and gave them some sort of affection that was enough to bring back that emotion.

The more in love with someone is with another person, the less affection they needed. Why? Well, when somebody is in love, that person is easily able to become happy around whoever they love. It's simple. Someone who loves another person not as much, needs more affection because it's not as easy as giving them enough to bring back the emotion.

I stayed the park for an hour before returning back to the Port Mafia.

--
she ran away.

how basic.