My thoughts and feelings.

2:08 am, 5th September 2017

I feel lonely.

I don't think I can describe this feeling very good but I'll try to.

It's this constant, slightly painful feeling in my chest, that never quite goes away.

It's like a mouse eating a hole through a big chunk of cheese but the cheese is actually my chest.

Of course I know that people care about me but at the same time it doesn't feel like it.

They say that I can talk to them about anything but at the same time they rather talk about themselves and do not care if I am saying something about myself.

Every time I open my mouth everybody is losing interest in the conversation and starts to look bored.
They think they all know me so well but how can they know anything about me if I don't understand myself?

I feel like I'm not the person that everyone thinks I am. My whole personality is just an empty shell that is just acted.

They know the made up character, not the actor behind it, but even the character seems not to be interesting enough to them.

So if they don't care truly about the shell, how could they care about the real me?