fool |tracob|

F O R T Y F I V E

Tuesday 21 December

ok you figured out my lies.

friday was a test, monday i had to talk to counselor, and today i felt sick and was in the bathroom the whole time of lunch.

you texted me and said that if i didn't want food sit with you then i could have said so. and you know how embarrassed and nervous i got?

i saw the text and my stomach dropped and i was like 'i for sure made him mad at me. i'm such a freaking idiot.'

i texted you back saying i did want to sit with you i had reasons. but you haven't said anything back now and i think i'm gonna have a like panic attack. i'm writing now to distract me but i'm don't think it's really working and i think i may just be even more panicked.

i really am an idiot. such a fucking idiot.

oh my god. my phone buzzed and i'm scared to look at it. what if it's you? and you're really mad? i mean of course it's you... i don't have any other friends and my parents don't text me.

i think i'm gonna ignore it for awhile. maybe like take a shower first. calm myself.

god why am i such an idiot?