Miserably Delightful

chapter 19

warning: this a long  chapter that's gonna take you on a roller coaster of emotions, so whip out your tissues, make sure nothing breakable is near you, and sit back and enjoy this ride ;)

I felt miserable.

I was supposed to be out, mingling with guests, but instead I was hidden in one of the back sitting rooms that Marie and her friends had gotten ready in as well as lounged in. I stood facing the mirror in there, glaring at my reflection. I looked pretty, and I should have loved it, but I didn't. I hated it. I hated that I was dressed up like a doll, and that technically speaking, I was Lauren's doll. I bet she was just dying to shove me in front of the cameras and flaunt me around to all her friends as her socialite baby daughter.

The worst part was, that I looked the part. My dress was gorgeous and I hated to admit it, but the moment my eyes had laid on it, I had fallen in love. The top portion was silver mesh and lace, a flower pattern decorating it. That top part fell down in thin folds all the way to the floor, nearly see through, but the lace design covering everything. There was a slit at the very top of my thigh on the right, showcasing my tanned legs. At the waist, pale pink mesh folds fell down to the floor, poofy and pretty, making me feel like a princess. I supposed I was a princess in some sorts.

My blonde hair was pulled up into a loose knot, braids on the side of my head leading to it. My makeup wasn't all that special, just some pink eyeshadow, eyeliner, and nude lipstick. I scowled hard, furious that I looked nothing like the real me. I looked like the make believe Sang my parents tried to sell to the media, and I hated her with a passion.

"Don't look so morose, Sang," I heard Micah coo from behind me, his voice light in an attempt to make me feel better. "It's your birthday, and you probably got a ton of presents. And the boys are here too."

"Micah," I said, my eyes fluttering shut in an attempt to keep frustrated tears from spilling out. "Can you do me a favor?"

"Yeah of course," he replied, probably eager to do anything to cheer me up. It had been made pretty clear that if anyone even tried to mess with me tonight, the boys would be kicking their ass. Micah preferred his ass intact, so he was doing everything in his power to make things easier for me.

"Can you shut the fuck up and while you're at it, get the Corey, Marc, and Knox for me?" I snapped, turning around to face him. He was standing in the doorway, looking so similar to our father that I had to soften slightly. Two months away from being eighteen, and he was already twice the man our father would ever be. "And thank you. For being there for me."

His face split into a smile, though I could see the pain that lingered in his eyes. He hated the act our family was about to put on just as much as I did. Our parents had ruined us, and hadn't even left us with advice on how to fix ourselves. I could have crumpled in upon myself and begun to cry, but I didn't. Instead, I wound my arms around Micah tightly, squeezing him as tight as I could. I hadn't seen him very much lately, and I regretted it, aware that he was struggling just as much as I was.

"I love you," I whispered, blinking away the tears, not wanting to smear my makeup and have Marie or Lauren go on a tangent about it. "To infinity?"

"And beyond," he muttered, holding me so tight that I could barely breathe. The familiar saying from our childhood almost had me in hysterics, but somehow I managed to keep it together. "You can make it through tonight, Sang, I believe in you."

I sniffled and pulled away, aware that if this conversation continued any longer, I would burst into tears. I waved him off and he complied, shooting me one last smile before exiting the room. I let out an annoyed huff, plopping down onto the loveseat in the room, giving myself one last mental pep talk before the boys escorted me out to the vultures. I had cursed out God, at least two times, by the time the boys walked into the room.