Lost

Chapter 5

"I just drove Gerard to a gas station," Ray started. "He asked me to pick him up at four in the morning and be quiet so Mikey wouldn't wake up."

Frank glanced over at Mikey, who was sitting in stony silence.

"I mean, it was a weird request but he called in a favor and I didn't want to refuse." Ray sighed. "We crept out at some ungodly time in the morning, and Gerard made me promise not to tell you two anything."

"But why?" Mikey interrupted. "I'm his brother. Can't he trust me?"

Ray shrugged. "I don't know, Mikey, I just drove him there."

"So... you left the house? You left Mikey and you didn't feel any kind of remorse?" Frank stared at him incredulously. Ray looked a little uncomfortable.

"I didn't know he was going to disappear disappear. I thought he'd just be gone for a little while."

"You have watched your friend's mental state deteriorate until he couldn't look after himself and you said nothing?" Frank yelled. Ray was definitely uncomfortable by now.

"Well... Gee will come back, and then Mikey'll be fine, right?"

"No!" Frank looked furious. "He's going to have to get professional help for his head because you wouldn't tell us anything!"

"I promised..." Ray didn't sound like he wanted to defend himself, even if he did.

"MIKEY HAD A HEART ATTACK!" Frank screamed. Mikey flinched and he felt a shadow of guilt, but it quickly evaporated. The doctor and nurses were looking over at them, trying to decide if they needed to diffuse the situation or not.

Ray sighed, but their conversation came to an abrupt end when a cop came in to take him away.

"I didn't mean for this," Ray murmured. "I'm sorry."

"You should have said that before Mikey was hospitalized." Frank scowled and turned back to the bed, blocking him out. Ray didn't reply as he was led away.

Mikey was chewing his lip, his eyes wide.

"Ray was hiding things from me," he whispered unhappily. Frank sighed and looked down at his hands, which were clasped in his lap.

"He hid things from both of us," he replied regretfully.

"Are you hiding anything, Frank?"

"No," Frank lied. "Well, not anything that concerns Gerard's disappearance," he amended.

"I think he disappeared because of me," Mikey whimpered.

"Mikey..."

"He did, didn't he?"

"No. You're jumping to conclusions."

"But..."

"Why do you think you caused him to run away?"

"Because... because I told him something..."

"Was it a bad something?"

Mikey looked a little distressed, so Frank forced himself to look as calming as possible (which was hard since he was furious with Ray).

"I don't know," Mikey finally whispered. Frank sighed and awkwardly patted the taller man's shoulder.

"Don't beat yourself up, Mikey. Gerard's probably doing something completely unrelated to whatever you told him."

Mikey leaned back against his pillows, unconvinced.

"Look, Mikey, you're his brother. He wouldn't do this without good reason. Maybe Bob kidnapped him."

Mikey snorted at that. It was good to see him smile, even if it was half a smile. Frank considered asking him where he wanted to live now that Ray's house would be unavailable, but stopped himself. Mikey needed to calm down, and thinking about his future might not help.

So, Frank changed the subject to music, as usual. It was the most common ground that he and the lanky male had, apart from Gerard.

Then he was sent away by the doctor so that Mikey could rest.

Frank hurried down the empty street, his hands shoved into his pockets. He was still worried about Mikey, but couldn't convince the doctors to let him stay.

He was so distracted by his longing that he didn't notice the person until he bumped into them.

"Whoops," he muttered, not looking up and just walking around them.

"Frank?" said a hollow voice. Frank looked up and then froze.

"Gerard..."

*****

Frank woke up buck naked. There was a dent in the sheets beside him, and the smell of Gerard everywhere. The man himself was nowhere to be seen.

"Ugh... fuck..." Frank groaned as he raised his hand to the bruises on his neck and lower back. He slowly sat up and looked around, his hair a mess. He realised he couldn't see Gerard anywhere and swore again. "A fucking one night stand? What the fuck, Gee?"

He gritted his teeth and stood up. He remembered little of last night; only a whole bunch of moaning and groaning.

Surprisingly, he hadn't enjoyed it all that much. Maybe Gee was too rough? Maybe not rough enough? Frank didn't know. He sighed and pulled some jeans on, then grabbed his shirt and went downstairs.

He made himself some breakfast, noticing that Gerard had helped himself to the food before he left.

Dick, Frank thought glumly. He rubbed his eyes and decided to go see Mikey again today, to make sure he was alright. He knew he'd have to tell him about Gerard.

He just hoped Gerard didn't know that his little brother was in a hospital. He'd probably freak out.

Frank knew he himself was freaking out. Nothing made sense. Why did Ray help him disappear? It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that Frank had slept with Gerard only for him to disappear again. Why did he come back? Why did he have to be so charming?

It sucked.

Frank's life sucked. Majorly. He sighed and pulled a jacket on, heading out. Time to go see Mikey.

He arrived at the hospital half an hour later and was in Mikey's room before he knew it. Mikey was asleep, the half-eaten remains of breakfast on a table beside him.

There was a second bottle of pills next to the breakfast. Frank felt his heart drop. Once Gerard came back, Mikey taking those would not escape his notice.

Mikey's parents were sat down beside him, talking quietly amongst themselves.

Frank stayed in the doorway, watching his friend in concern. Mikey was paler than Gerard when he was wearing makeup, and that was saying something.

Frank gritted his teeth. He hated that Mikey was so ill and he was powerless.

But what scared him the most was that he was starting to hate Gerard for doing this.