And If... {completed and edited 2024}

And If... I hadn't told him ?

My sister will be happy to be an aunt. And as of everybody else, some were going to judge me and others won't or whatever, but I didn't care that much. Or maybe a little though, because I didn't like to be the center of attention for the wrong reasons. I walked in the coffee shop and immediately noticed him at a table in the back. I sighed, then joined him. We didn't greet each other, not saying much at first. We were looking everywhere, but at one another. This tension was so uncomfortable.

How did we get to this point ?

This morning, everything was totally different. What happened to us and why so fast ? Things weren't the same anymore already. I wanted to cry, but I refrained myself to do so. I already wasted a lot of tears before I went to his room. I had a feeling that everything wasn't going to be as perfect as I would like to, but I didn't envisage it to be this bad.

"So...you're sure about this ? You're really pregnant ? " He asked, breaking the awkward silence.

I nodded my head, "yes. I am and if you dare to ask me if it's your baby, I will fuck you up, do not even try this with me." I warned, getting irritated all over again.

"I know it's my baby." He sighed, "Tina, we can't have a baby right now, it's not the right time. We are in college and we're so young. We're not full adults just yet. We have so much to do and learn. We are not ready for this." He said, panic in his voice.

What was he trying to say though ?

"If you're talking about abortion right now, you must be crazy. I will not kill my child. Listen, if you do--"

"No ! Of course, not. I would never tell you to kill my seed. I'm scared, but I have to man up and take full responsibility for my actions. We are both going to do this. But, it's not going to be easy, T. And uh, I...I don't want to, uh...I want to break up."

What the fuck ?

What was he talking about ? Breaking up ? With me ? After all those years ? He couldn't do that. We'd been together since I was twelve years old. And we'd been in each other's life for almost the past ten years. Before to be lovers, we were best friends. And he was my first everything.

My first boy best friend, my first crush, kiss, date, boyfriend, love, I lost my virginity to him and I wanted him to continue to be my first for other aspects of my life. We had been making plans to get married and have kids. We wanted to grow older together. What ? How ? Why ? He couldn't end our story like this.

"You...you can't do this. Why are you doing this to me ? " I asked, completely confused. My heart was in so much pain right now, it got hard to breath.

He shrugged, "I don't want to be with you anymore, that's simple. I don't love you anymore." He answered, seeming sincere. My heart was broken.

"What ? You must be lying. You can't say that. Is it a joke ? I don't find it funny, Richard." I was trying so hard to not break down.

"No, I'm being serious. We're going to raise our kid together and that's it. By the way, I was cheating on your with Fanny."

My chest was now empty. My heart was gone forever. He killed me. And for what ? What did I do to deserve this ? Did I even deserve this ? Was I that bad as a girlfriend ? How did I not realize earlier ? I thought, no I was persuaded, that everything was going well between us. It was paradise for me. Oh, how wrong was I. He fooled me like a pro.

I gave him myself and here he was wiling to throw me away like a old chewing-gum. Why ?

"Don't cry, please." He added, avoiding to look at my face as I stared at him with water in eyes. I was so close to lose it, but I didn't want to give him this satisfaction.

I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe that he dared to hurt me this way. It was not supposed to happen, at all. Breaking my heart was the very last thing I thought he would do to me, but here I was sitting in this coffee shop, feeling totally empty inside. He did it. And without any ounce of regret. The human being across from me was not the Richard I knew.

The Richard I knew, would never have done this. Amazing how someone can change so fast, in less than a freaking minute. No, I simply didn't truly know him. All this time I thought we were on the same page, but I was mistaken. He showed me one side, one that he was sure I would fall for and it did work.

I was in love with this man, who was now disgusting me. At this moment, I just wanted to run far away and never come back. I didn't want to see him ever again, but I knew it was impossible since we had a child to raise together now. And it was only making the situation worse.

This morning, he was telling me how much he loved me. He was nice, sweet and covering me with a lot of kisses. I was on cloud nine. I thought that we were going to be together forever. He made me believe this. He made me believe in this fairytale and now I was waking up from this dream. Illusion was over and reality set in.

He lied all this time.

I was so confused and hurt. He literally stomp on my heart. He played with it as if it was a soccer ball; he messed up with my emotions and feelings; he wasted my precious time; he took everything from me to then stab me in the back. I didn't know him that cruel. This was unbelievable.

Before standing up, I took a serious decision in my head. It will never happen again. This was the first and last time that someone was playing me like this.

I was definitely done with Richard Willkingston.

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Thanks for reading !

   CissyItsMe 💋