Complicated

Chapter | 17 |

"And what happens when she meets Liam?"

"I don't know but she's probably going to persuade me to move back home and go to a college around there so that she can monitor my life." I replied and got up, walking over to the mini fridge and getting a water. "She's already trying since she found out..."

"That I'm a lesbian, yeah I heard her talking to you about switching your dorm." She looked down at her hands. "It sucks that people discriminate over others for who they love, I couldn't do so much because of who I am."

"I'm not switching dorms, she's overreacting." I said sitting back on my bed and taking a sip from my drink.

Lillian smiled and pulled me up. "Come on, were going to go out and do something fun." She said walking back to her bed and pulling off her sweats and putting on some jeans and converse.

"I don't want too." I said falling back on my bed.

"Too bad." Lillian said pulling me up back to me feet and out of the door. It actually feels weird to be outside of my dorm without going either to school or to the hospital. I don't know when I became so antisocial or when Liam became my main priority but it's defiantly making my social life very scarce.

Lillian and I went to a mall in her car, we bought some things for our apartment. When I got home, Lillian, Macy, Isaac, and I had decided to get an apartment and all just live together. We'd found one close to campus that had three bedroom, Lilian and Macy would share one, and Isaac and I would have our own rooms. My mom had loaned me some money, that of course was before she knew Lillian and Macy were both lesbians, if she had she definitely wouldn't have given me the money.

Anyway, each of us pitched in and paid first month on the apartment, were still waiting on the call about weather or not we got it. Even though we didn't have the apartment yet, we all still liked to pick up little things that we imagined would be around the house. It would be fun living with them all, but I don't know if I would be able to handle the sex noises coming from Lillian and Macy's room.

Around three I had forgotten about Liam almost completely, having so much fun with Lillian. We ended up narrating other peoples conversations as we walked past them, it was funny especially when a girl bent down to tie her shoe in front of a boy.

"Oh, let me just bend down and suck your dick." Lillian had said smiling.

"Baby no, were in public people will talk." I follows giggling.

"Fuck the people, were wild and crazy." Lillian replied.

It felt good to get out and just have fun again, not stressing over how Liam was doing. But, when we got to food court I couldn't help but think about him when I was waiting in line. What was he doing right now? Was he thinking about me? What happened to him, how did he get so hurt? I wish I could see him.

I grabbed a table in the food court while Lillian went and got us some food. While she was away, I've been drowning in my own thoughts about the situation. I didn't understand how only in a few months I'd found myself wound up in this, following a circle I'd set myself in firmly. I can't shake it, I can't break it and whenever I try it hurts more than anything is ever felt in my life.

Lillian returned and gave me my slice of pizza, sitting across from me. Her face twisted into a frown when she see my expression. "You have to forget about this." She said taking a bite of her pizza.

"I'm sorry, I can't help but thinking about it. It's not something I can shake easily you know." I said, eating too.

"But, maybe it is. You're holding onto it with a firm grasp, when maybe all you have to do is release."

I shook my head. "I want to shake it but you don't understand.."

"Oh don't give me bullshit please."

"Lillian, this is serious, I love him."

"Bullshit, you met him a day ago, either you're a lunatic or desperate."

"I didn't meet him a day ago, I met him months ago and I can't lie about how I feel." I snapped.

She dropped her pizza, looking me dead in the eyes. "It doesn't matter if you met him a few months ago, all he's ever done is hurt you. Do you like pain?"

"No, of course not." I said.

"Well I beg to differ because you keep running back to the same loser every time, even though he's bad for you!" She shouted, some of the people around turned to face us, blinking their eyes at the scene Lillian was causing.

I dropped my eyes to the table. "Lower your voice.." I mumbled.

"No, fuck you. Don't listen to me then, and when you get hurt it's on you." Lillian grabbed her stuff and started walking away.

I gathered my stuff following her. "Wait, where are you going?"

"Home, alone." She snapped.

"But- how am I supposed to get home?"

"Walk bitch."