His Heart

Unforgivable

Keharie's Pov

I wouldn't talk to anybody after that dream. It felt so real. Hassan didn't even come in yesterday. And to say that I was happy would be an understatement. I'm hella confused on why the fuck I'm thinking, let along fucking dreaming about him, the reason why is definitely not in my mind. I haven't been able to go to sleep at all. Even on the medicine that will make any mf fall asleep. My dad walked in and sat down next to me. I was pissed with all of them honestly.

"Why you haven't  been talking to people huh? Why they you have an attitude?" He asked me. I looked at him and rolled my eyes. He act like he can't speak English like a fucking normal person.

"You know me right? I'm your child right?" I ask  him finally looking. He nods his head with no hesitation.

"sí por supuesto niña ¿Porque? Que esta mal?"(Yes of course girl Why? It's wrong?) He asks me. I sigh and look at him with so much hurt. 

"¿Por qué no viniste ayer? Se suponía que serías la primera persona en venir a verme. Se supone que eres mi mejor amigo. Desde que mamá murió nuestro vínculo ha muerto. Actúas como si yo no fuera tu hijo, sino sólo uno de tus trabajadores." (Why did not you come yesterday? You were supposed to be the first person to come and see me. You're supposed to be my best friend. Since Mom died our bond has died. You act as if I were not your son, but only one of your workers.) I say in full blown tears. I haven't cried since my mom died. But, it seems like ever since mama died, he treats me like I died too. He sighed and looked away from me. Knowing that I was right, I'm just tired of always feeling left out and abandoned by the person who meant the most to me.

"¿De qué mierda estás hablando? Tengo que hacer mierda. Ya que querías estar aquí, tengo que hacer todo tu maldito trabajo y limpiar después de tu mudo culo Keharie."(What the fuck are you even talking about? I have shit I have to do. Since you wanted to be in here I have to do all of your fucking work and, clean up after your dumb ass Keharie) He yells at me. I looks at him as if he's fucking crazy. And to top it off Hassan is walking thought the door. He looks between us and can tell somethings about to happen. 

"Bueno, ¿qué diablos se supone que hago? Deja que te disparen? Lo dejé atrás para salvar tu maldita vida. Eres desagradecido como mierda. Esto aquí, es una puta mierda y lo sabes. Estás ignorando el hecho de que te estoy diciendo que no eres un padre para mí. Usted trata a estos niggas mejor que usted me trata."(Well, what the hell am I supposed to do? Let them shoot you? I left it behind to save your fucking life. You're ungrateful as shit. This here, it's a fucking bitch and you know it. You're ignoring the fact that I'm telling you that you're not a father to me. You treat these niggas better than you treat me.) I yell at him. Hassans eyes go wide and my dad looks at me as if I'm crazy. Before taking a few steps twpards my bed. 

"Don't make me fuck you up in this hospital Mija. I'm sure you don't want that for yourself." He says so nonchalant. I laugh and push him away from me.

"That is the shit I'm talking about right their. No one says that type of shit to their daughter. Get the fuck out of my face. I fucking hate you." I scream at him. He looks at me with heartbroken eyes. 

"¿Me odias?" (You hate me?) He asks me. And at this point he was on the verge of breaking down. I guess he never thought I would say it to him. But in all honesty I needed to say it. I have been having nothing but hate for him lately. I really only come around for meetings or when my abuela comes in town. 

"As much as I hate to say it yes, yes I do. You act like you don't give a fuck about me. You've hurt me so much and you don't even realize it. I just wanna be loved. And if not by anybody else, at least you. But, I couldn't even get that. You can leave now tho. Apparently all the shit I've left behind, is too much for you to handle." I say as I shoo him away. Hassan is standing their with tears clouding his eyes. I watch as my dad reaches into his pocket and pulls out 2 little boxes, and sit them on my bed.

"Happy Birthday baby girl. I never meant to make you feel like that. I'll make it up to you." He says as he walks out of the room . I sigh and look over at Hassan and his face is emotionless.

"I was just coming over to check on you ma. How you feeling?" He says walking over to my bed. I look at him with so much confusion. I'm wondering one, why the hell did I just have a real life dream about this man, and two what did it stand for?

"I'm fine. It's just that, I'm so tired of letting people run over me. I just want to be able to do as I please. Mfs don't treat me with any type of respect around this bitch. I'm so over this shit." I say finally getting that off my chest. I had been holding it in for so long. I'm just over it at this point. He looked at me, as if he felt bad for me.

"Well, the one thing I can say is, don't let no mf come between yo happiness Keh. Only you can control how you feeling, and I know that I don't know you very much but, I really don't like to see mfs I care about be upset. You a cool ass person and I'd hate to see somebody walk over you." He says to me as he sits on the bed. I sit up some so that I can give him enough room.

"Thank you Hassan. I really appreciate that." I say looking at him. He smiled at me and I game him a small one in return.

"No problem ma. You feeling ok? How's your pain on a scale?" He says grabbing my clip board like he was the nurse. I laugh a little. 

"What are you a doctor now or something?" I say to him. He chuckles then looks at me with a smirk. 

"Not yet. I have 4 months of school left." He says to me. I nod in amazement.

"Congratulations Ssan." I say. He never fails to amaze me.

"Thanks ma." He says. I smile at him and lean back into my bed. I can just feel drama creeping into my life.

Hey Yall!! I Know its been a while i've been busy asf with school and work! But, More frequent updates are coming. Love, Jurie!