"Then why didn't you come back?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He hung his head in shame.
"I... I was afraid."
"Of what?" I'm trying to understand this side of the story after so long of only knowing what I felt.
"That you'd hate me, and I can't deal with the fact that you would ever hate me and I'm so so so sorry, John-"
"Stop with the apologies! You already know that I've forgiven you. Just tell me what happened?" I say. I have so many conflicting emotions. Pure joy from seeing him again, anger because he never came back, and worry because I don't know what's happened to him in the past year.
"I-I came here, and nothing went the way I planned. Nothing was what I thought it would be like. It was so much harder for me to do anything, especially because I was alone and couldn't seem to make any friends. My-my grades began slipping and eventually by the end of the year, I-I'd failed my classes. I didn't have any clue where to go, and I couldn't do anything and I was way way way too scared to come back home. I couldn't face you, or anyone else back home with them knowing I'd failed."
He lifts his head and I come to realize how much of a broken mess we both are, and how much work it will take to put us together again.
"I hate myself. I couldn't do it. I disapointed everyone."
Once those words exit his mouth I can hear my heart shatter.
"It's okay, it's okay. We'll be fine, we'll figure this out, okay? Everything will make sense and everything will be fine." I say, words spilling out of my mouth at an uneven rate. I'm not sure what to say, I just want him to be happy.
"We'll be fine." I reiterate, brushing hair out of his face.
Let's just forget that it's been five months since I've updated.
YOU ARE READING
Lams- I Can't Lose You
FanfictionWhen Alexander graduates high school a year before everybody else, everyone thinks it's the last they'll see of him. John is plagued with flashbacks from when they were close, but now they've lost contact and all hope seems lost. COMPLETED
