Lams- I Can't Lose You

Before

A.N. Hey, I said in one of my other fan fictions that I would publish something else, so here it is. Enjoy!

~~+~=John's P.O.V.=~+~~

I see him from across the field.

"Alex!" I yell.

He turns and notices me. At first it looks like he isn't happy to see me, but soon that face turns to pure joy.

He starts sprinting over to me. I almost fall over as he envelops me in a giant bear hug.

"Woah, there. You almost knocked me over." I laugh. Alex looks up to me with tears in his eyes.

"I did it! I really did! I'm so happy! I did it! I did it! John, I did it!" Alex starts jumping up and down. He looks like someone who just accomplished their biggest goal in life- oh wait, he just did.

"I'm so proud of you, Alex. I know it was really really hard, but it was worth it! Your body is probably 80% caffeine now that finals are over. You just graduated a year ahead of our class! No one else in the entire state has done that this year!"

He continues running around in circles and screaming like a toddler.

"I swear, sometimes you act like a Professor at Harvard or something, and sometimes you act like a hyper 2 year-old. Right now you're a 2 year-old." He giggles, which causes him to trip on a tree root. He laughs even harder and gets up. He looks back at me.

Alex's eyes are sparkling. I feel like drowning in them.

I can't take it anymore.

I grab his head and pull him into another hug.

"You are the best, best, best person in the history of ever, you know that, right? You are the best and my most favourite person I know."

We just stay like that for a while. Everyone around us is still celebrating, but I don't like the noise.

"Should we get going?" I say, pulling him along, over away from the large group of seniors we don't know. Alex is still a junior, but he wanted to graduate early so bad, so he's graduating now instead of next year. This means while everyone his age are in their senior year, he'd be off in college without us. Without me.

"So," I start. "I've never had the chance to ask. Which college you're going to?"

"Probably Princeton. I like it more than any of the other colleges that accepted me." He says, not looking at me. Probably lost in the reality that he's done with high school.

"I'm going to work extra hard to get there too, so then we could still be together. That would be awesome." Alex hadn't said anything. "Alex?" I nudge him with my shoulder. He jumps a little.

"Y-yeah, that'd be cool." He said nervously. He scratched the back of his neck.

"What? Is something wrong, Alex?" I'm suddenly very nervous also. Alex was always so confident, something had to be wrong. I turn him toward me and put my hands on his shoulders so I can look him in the eye.

"Alex. What is wrong?"

"I-I'm going to be so far away. For so long. I-I won't be able to see you." He stuttered. A tear slips from his eye.

"So what? I could come visit y-"

"No, John!" He shouts. I step back, surprised by his outburst.

"What?" I am so confused right now.

"I-I'm s-sorry. I..."

He suddenly lunges towards me. Our lips crash together. Time stops as I try and process this. He wraps his hands around my neck. I've waited for this since forever.

As I'm about to kiss back, Alex let's go.

"I'm sorry. Long distance relationships never ever work, or at the very least they make everyone involved bitter and leave them unsatisfied and I never want that to happen to us. I'm so so sorry, John." More tears are pouring down his face. My head feels like I'm 20 feet underwater and the pressure is building and I hate this. I want this to stop and I want this all to go back to the way it was.

"I-I'm sorry. Goodbye." He backs away and doesn't look me in the eye. My world is breaking and falling apart. I'm standing here, silent tears slipping down my face.

"Alex..." I try and say, but it only comes out as loud as a whisper. Alex just turns and sprints away.

I don't realize what he's doing for quite a few seconds, but as soon as I do, I start running so fast I'm not even sure if my feet are hitting the ground. I need to find him, I need to find Alexander, I need to find him now, now, now. Where is he. I need to find him now and convince him this is a terrible idea, that this idea could be the end of us. I might never see him again and I'm not ready for that. I need to find Alexander now.

I've lost him.

I can't find him. He ran too far, too fast. Where is he?

I can't find him and now he's gone.

I need to find him now and fix everything.

He's gone.

I've lost him.

He's gone.

I want him back.

I've lost him...