Old Friends (Janet and Toni Fanfic)

Chapter 38

"Just in case." Wissam stood up and and held out his arm. I took it and wiped my eyes again, leading him to the elevator. The ride up was silent except for my sniffles. I was such a mess. Once we were at my door, he stopped me before I could stick my room key in the slot.

  "I didn't mean to make you cry, I'm sorry."

  "To answer your question... I, um... I don't know," I said, running my fingers through my now long, wavy hair. "I just--maybe I still do, maybe I was just angry and lonely, but it's a lot, Wissam. And I did it to myself, that's why I'm crying," I laughed.  "I made it harder than it had to be when I didn't tell you, when I blamed it on you, all of it."

  "That you did," he rocked back and forth on his heels. "But can I say this? Whether you still love me or not, I mean, maybe it doesn't matter all that much, but I really saw this being forever, I guess--"

  "Stop, please..." I waved my hands in front of me. He was making me feel the guilt that I should have felt 2 months ago, all crashing down on my head.

  "3 months ago I thought I was going to spend my life with you, but I figured even if it didn't work out, then we'd always be friends, and I could still be there for you. It would never get ugly the way that it did. And maybe we won't be friends, but I want you to know I'm always gonna be here if you need me. And I want you to have a fantastic life with her, I uh, I know you love her and she loves you. So I wish you the best."

  "Thank you, Wissam." My voice kept shaking, and I couldn't stop crying for anything on the planet. There were too many emotions inside of me that I couldn't even begin to identify.

  "Being with you has been a completely life-altering experience, and I just want to thank you for giving me the opportunity to love you as best I could, even though I hurt you."

  "Come here." I pulled him into a tight hug, sending waterfalls from my eyes as he held me. His cologne was comforting when I was in a place so far away from everything I knew at home. I could have sworn I heard him sniffle too as we embraced for the last time.

  "Thanks for talking to me tonight, I feel so much better," he mumbled. I buried my face deeper into him. I didn't want to let go.

  "I think I feel worse, but I guess I deserved it," I chuckled.

  "I forgive you though."

  "Thank you. I forgive you too."

  I pulled away after a few more seconds. He wiped my tears away with his thumbs, then gently kissed my forehead. I smiled.

  "Goodnight, J." He reached behind me and opened my door for me.

  "Goodnight, Wissam."

He turned to leave, and I watched him down the hallway as he discreetly raised his arm up to wipe his eyes. I sighed.

  "Wait, come back," I called. He stopped and turned around. I met him half way, then reached up to kiss him quickly and softly on the corner of his mouth. "I'm sorry." His face turned bright red. I wiped traces of my lipstick off of his skin. "You didn't deserve this."

  "Yeah. Me too."

  "Bye."

He nodded his head and turned to leave once again. I walked back to my room and fell on my bed, checking the time to wonder if it was too late to call Toni.

  Toni

It was 7 in the morning, and I was scrambling to answer my phone and sound as excited as possible when I looked at my caller I.D.