Anywhere But Here

Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Last night was fun until Oliver, Vic's ex, showed up. I was pretty drunk at the time but I knew I was angry. I ended up marching home in anger and fell onto my bed to go to sleep. So here I am now, this morning with a pounding head ache. I literally felt like I was going to puke. Whatever the hell was in Vic's 'love juice' didn't agree with me at all. I felt too sick to be angry at Vic for not informing me that his boss was also his ex-boyfriend. Thinking about it only made my stomach hurt more, but I couldn't stop.

Oliver was completely different from me and it made me somewhat jealous to think this guy managed to snag Vic. Of course, it was just negative thoughts pressing their way into my brain, but I couldn't help it. I felt as if maybe I was a temporary thing, that he'd want to go back to a guy like Oliver eventually. Like I wasn't good enough. Then again, I felt jealous of anyone being able to be with Vic besides me. Vic described it as if he didn't love anyone since his parents died, now I'm thinking he might not have been letting me in on everything that there is.

I glanced at the clock beside my bed, watching the minutes tick by. It was 1 in the afternoon, and I didn't have any plans on getting up soon. It was better to lie here in bed and pretend that nothing was wrong than to get up and deal with life. I felt almost played, as if this whole thing between us has been a lie, but he wouldn't have put so much effort into being with me if he didn't want to. So of course, I'm stuck in this infinite loop of over thinking and trying to reassure myself that it isn't anything to think about.

I let out a sigh, lying here wasn't doing me any good. I took the covers off of me and rolled out of bed. I dragged my feet across the floor as I made my way into the kitchen, I wasn't sure what to do now. I wanted to just call Vic and talk about this but I was nervous about what the conversation would bring. I didn't want this to end so quickly, I finally felt happy and somewhat content with my life. It sucked thinking that I'd lose it.

I grabbed a glass of orange juice and a bottle of Advil, hopping it would take away this feeling in my brain. I walked into the living room and slumped down onto the couch, Vic's house in perfect view. But when I looked out the window, I saw Vic, walking towards my house. His hands were shoved in his jacket pocket and the wind blew his long hair around. I instantly felt butterflies in my stomach and I thought I'd be sick. I watched as he got closer and closer, until he was walking up my driveway. The doorbell rang, and reluctantly I got up to answer it. I opened the door half way and looked at Vic, he had an apologetic expression, I could already tell he knew what I had been thinking.

"Can we talk?" His voice was quiet and timid, as if he was scared of what I'd say. But I didn't say anything, instead I nodded and just opened the door for him to come in. I led the way to the living room and sat on the couch. He didn't sit, instead he stood by the entrance to the living room, looking like he was going to pass out or something.

"You should sit" I said sternly to him, he nodded and sat on the love seat to my left. "What do you want to talk about?" I asked him, hoping he could do all the talking because I was scared if I talked too much I'd either end up crying or getting mad. His eyes twitched as he crossed his arm over his body, rubbing his shoulder.

"Last night, I just, I want to explain." He sighed, he did look sorry. And if it meant that he'd answer all these questions then I'd be happy, I hope.

"Ok, explain" I nodded. He bit his lip in thought, as if he was thinking of where to start.

"Well, last year, when my parents died, Oliver helped me through it a lot." he began, and I didn't realize how much hearing that would hurt. "He's the one who introduced me into this whole drug business. He knew how much Mike meant to me and he helped me."