Gun Atthaphan Oneshots

Hot & Cold (OffXGun) - Part 1

Author's Note : This is going to be a 3-shots story. And I made Off slightly out of character (OOC). Maybe both of them are slightly OOC. A bit different from how they are. It's just to go with this story. It's not like how they are in real life.

Anywayyyy, enjoy the first part :)

Gun's POV

I looked at the ceiling blankly. My mind was drifting out towards the man who just left the bed to shower not long ago. The one that everyone knows I love and care about. The man that I can endure anything for, including his cold treatment. That one man. Off Jumpol.

Sometimes I doubt if P'Off have the same feeling as I do. I don't even know why he wants to be in a relationship with me if he doesn't feel the same as what I feel. At the time when he suddenly asked me to be his boyfriend, all I remembered was feeling so happy and I didn't even stop to think before saying yes. That was 3 years ago.

But now, I'm not really sure. Was it because he pitied me? Was it just for the fans? Did he at least have a little feeling towards me and decided to try? Does he love me at all? Was it just attraction that made me accept him at the first place? Because P'Off was one of the finest looking men around.

But looks aren't everything I guess. I, for some reason love him, but the feeling was not returned apparently.

I used to think that he was embarrassed to show his "love" to me, especially in public. Or shy. But the truth is, on or off camera, most of the time P' Off is just like that. Not so affectionate. Cold. But, when we are in front of the camera, he shows a little bit more of his caring side compared to when we are off camera.

And I still stayed because I really thought time can changed that. But, it's been 3 years. 2 years in a relationship. And now, almost a year being married. Yeah, you heard me. Married. Though we did it privately with no grand announcement or events. Just close and trusted friends and family.

Most of the time now, I wonder if it was the best decision I've made. I'm not really sure anymore.

You see, I'm not really talking about being overly chatty or overly attached towards each other. But, you know. A simple hug without having me to forced him to do it sometimes or a casual kiss to the cheek after a long day at work, or cuddles, could really fix a lot of things. And I'm kinda really getting tired of having to be the one to initiate the hugs or kisses.

There ARE times that he can actually be somewhat sweet. Like when we had fights and clearly it was his fault. He would never admit it. But, he made up with me by doing those little stuff that I love. Like buying me a plushy or waking up earlier than me in the morning and prepared my favorite breakfast. He didn't say that he was sorry, but the way he would do all that was as good as an apology. And I know that was as sweet as he can be. Rare times like these are the ones that I really cherished, since that was the closest that I can get to feel that P'Off actually cares and that he loves me.

I turned over in our bed as I felt the tears glistening in my eyes. NO! I will not let him see me like this. I will not let him see me weak. Never. I touched the ring that was on my finger and slowly rubbed it hoping to get some strength. I took a long breath before slowly getting up from the bed and head towards the kitchen of our home.

I started my routine of brewing coffee and making breakfast for us. I have a free day today so, I've decided to just stay home. While P'Off will be busy for his own shooting for a new series.

P'Off has also been taking lessons and in the process of learning to direct a series. To become a director like he had dreamed to be. So, I understand he is way more busy than I am.

And now, as he got busier, the lesser time we have for each other. He was always coming home late at the rare times that he did come home, but he would leave again early in the morning. We barely talked, let alone have any cuddling time with each other.

Often, P'Off would forget to text me that he will be staying out late. Some days, I won't see him for days since he needs to be on standby on set or such or went out of the city. I had to find out from other people, after being worried half to death when I couldn't reach him on his phone for almost a day.

I brushed my fingers through my tangled hair, and it shook when I thought about leaving. How do I just stand up, gather my things and walked out of the door without looking back? How do I leave him? The sole man that I've fallen in love with.

The ONLY man that I've loved for so long. The only man I CAN love. It feels like I'm a ghost walking around not being noticed and it hurts. 

P'Off then walked in, moved to the table with his eyes on his phone, taking a gulf of his coffee without touching the breakfast.

"I'm leaving now. Can't drive you" while rushing towards the door. I faked a smile as always.

"I don' have schedule today" I mentally said.

"Okay. I'll see you later...." I didn't even get to finish my words as I heard the door already being slammed shut.

Slowly, I let myself fall into one of the kitchen seat and put my hands on my face as the first tears fall down. My heart felt as though spikes were puncturing it. It ached and bleed. I felt so deprived and empty.

More tears began to glide down my cheeks but I did nothing to wipe them away. No one can see my tears. No one can catch my pain. I'll make sure of that. In here, I'm safe. In my own cocoon that is our home, I'm free to show my feelings. Free to cry and brood about everything. For each and every pain that I felt. No one will see me. Not even him. I'm safe here.

I twirled my diamond crusted wedding band. P'Off gave me everything any other person would want. But he have never actually given me anything that I needed. What I silently begged for. Attention. Love. I can go without all these material possessions. Can't he see that I needed him? All of him.

No one P.O.V

Gun sniffed and brushed a finger under his nose. He was crying full on now and couldn't stop it. He cried for his pain. He craved for his husband's attention. But it was like he never existed.

Gun did not exist to Off.

The wedding band on his left finger slipped off easily when he pulled it out. Gun let it spun around on the shiny table surface and watched it until it finally stop. Glittering and twinkling on the table.

He wanted to kept begging and praying for the pain to go away. For his husband to changed. But he knew better that it will not be heard since he has done it for years and nothing's changed.

Gun bowed his head. He hiccuped at random. He clutched his heart as the sobs racked his small body. Gun was having a breakdown. He has totally given up. He felt broken.

AND it was to this exact scene, in which Off walked in on for the first time in his life.

END PART ONE

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Author's note :

My first 3-shots or a short story...hahaha. Generally, I wanted it to be a one shot. But then, it just got longer and longer and longer.... so, I decided to separate it into 3 parts.

This idea just came and I just couldn't help it. And I couldn't resist putting my favorite couple into the story. So, I do hope you guys will love this too...

The 2nd part is coming soon. Just need to edit a few things here and there... so, please bare with me.

Hm, happy ending? Sad ending? You guys just have to wait and see na? ^___^

I'm also really sorry for the grammar or spelling mistakes in my stories since it's not my main language. Plus this wasn't proofread first.  So, I'm really sorry.

Comments are always welcomed and I thank u guys sincerely for the votes, comments and PMs. Love ya!

Anyway, bye2 for now....;)

Lots of love,

Aidameric.