Agent A speaks. . . and with a mad voice too.
i dident no wat to right about. i cudnt be botered to find a agent. no editer or sumthing like dat.
Well, if that's the case. I forbid you to write anymore! Recently, someone annoyed me so I'm going to open this rant!
What madness!
If you're going to talk to us in this account while knowing we are agents and ranters, please, make sure you check your grammar or at least, have the decency to write the words in their rightful spellings.
If words can speak, they would've verbally killed you already!
That is, if I haven't yet *insert devil face*
Targets, if you know that you can't write properly, why can't you take some time and research the net for the things you need to know? I'm not a native in English nor do I claim I am fluent, but duh! I researched well enough to know the usage for the punctuation marks (Though I am still not good. Far from it.)
Editors exist for a reason.
Damn, spell check exists for a reason! Dictionary, English books, Internet, Microsoft Word!!!!!
I really don't know what to say. I have so many things I need to rant about but it's too many. My thoughts are mixing up, not allowing me to form any coherent sentences at all.
Those poor editors. Those poor readers.
All suffering because of a lazy writer!
At least, have the decency to know the difference between YOUR AND YOU'RE!
******
Agent R.
You're a writer. I see no excuse for your poor spelling and grammar. A few typos here and there is fine, but a whole passage littered with typos and major grammatical errors is unacceptable. If you can't write properly, readers won't read it. I see no reason why anyone would want to read on a story that's practically unreadable.
There is a spell check on Wattpad. It's right up there^ when you're writing.
It. Only. Takes. One. Click.
That's it. One click.
Of course, the spell check is for people who can realize their mistakes. If your grammar and spelling is so awful that even spell checks won't help you realize what's wrong, I suggest you go back to school, that is, if you even graduated in the first place.
Behold, below is Agent R's speciality: examples.
i love my best friend, his soo hawt, me no beautiful but he liked me, me didn't noe y cuz me no pretty as the gurls wid him, dat slut iss alwaiz wid he, me feel like punching dat fake fase!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG HE IZ CUMING 2 MEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"HEEY ASHLEY. YOUR PRETTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
me says, "heeeeeeyy Blakeyyyy!!!! YOU ZO HAWT"
him then wrap he arms arond me, and us kiss. wid passion. right in skool. WERE SOO KOOOL i nooooee. he iz suuch a guuud kiser. ooh, the badd badd playyer fall for meee????!!!!!!!!!!
^That, dear readers, is a piece of writing that is beyond salvation. It is gone, unfortunately, forever. No amount of spell check will ever be able to correct that. You'll have to consult to a ridiculously patient editor. In fact, rather than wasting your time searching for an editor who's willing to correct that, why don't you chuck that in the bin and go have some English lessons?
I'm saying this because we have seen stories written like this.
Critical hit. It was super effective!
Tense changing. Damn. It. I've seen this so many times it's not even shocking anymore. Stick. With. One. Tense. If you write in past, stick with past. If you write in present, stick with present! Do not mix them together!
Your and you're. His and he's. It's and its. That happens way too often in stories. With an apostrophe, you're completely changing the meaning of the sentence.
You're donkey.
Your donkey.
Really, the meanings are so drastically different.
Caps on. DUDE, STOP SCREAMING! MY EYES HURT FROM ALL THIS CAPS! THERE IS SOMETHING CALLED ITALICS. USE IT WISELY, MY CHILD.
More than one exclamation/question marks. Why do you write so many of them? Let me tell you a secret. Shh, come close. Listen carefully for this is top secret. Guess what? Ten exclamation marks are the same as one exclamation mark!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Shocking huh? The only difference is I run the hell away from a story if I see more than one exclamation marks. It's a proof that you cannot write.
Like wut's you're problem? I has gud grammer.
Get off Wattpad this instant. Go save the time and have some major English lessons. Trust me, you need them. You need them very very much.
- SPAZZING AGENT A
- RAGING AGENT R
- Net-deprived, Agent J
-
Agent's Note:
Watch out for our next rant, "The godly author's note".
Targets, fellows, readers. Our target book is already reaching its last target. If you have any suggestions or ideas, do comment it and we'll do our best to provide a better rant for you.
We hope you enjoyed this mad rant. We certainly did.
TARGET #5, CROSSED OUT AND EXTERMINATED. (With a red pen too)
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WattRant 101 - The Agents' Wrath
बेतरतीबSo you think you've escaped our keen eyes? Guess what. You didn't. This is the secret records of our targets. Beware, you might just be one of them.
