Agent R here. I'm doing most of the rants, ain't I?
Titles
I must get this out before I explode. Titles (My beautiful creation up there^ It had to be changed because it was too long on the first try). We all know some Wattpad stories have ridiculous titles, but to what extent?
We have 'Pregnant With My Mate's Baby, Too Bad I was Rejected ' and 'Moved In With My Mum And The Alpha.Found My Mate. He's The Alpha's Son!'. We also have 'Your my mate? Listen Your my Best friends brother, your a jerk and I HATE YOU!' and 'I fell in love with my brothers best friend and my brother fell in love with my best friend WHAT!'
Too stupid, you say? The last two both have more than 300k reads, and I believe some of you reading this may not even have reads more than those two.
Those stories above are all real Wattpad stories. I don't like using real names, but this is an exception. They are so absurd that I may as well as write 'I broke up with my boyfriend because he was cheating on me with my sister who turned out to be a vampire that sparkles, and they both were caught by my best friend who was a werewolf whom I've had a crush on ever since the third grade. Did I mention I am pregnant with my brother's best friend who is a teacher at my school?'.
Titles.
They catch your eye.
They trigger your interest towards the story.
Notice, they make you feel interested in a story. They do not tell you the whole plot. Really, those stories above, do you even need a blurb? Frankly, do you even need to write the story? Since you know, your readers already know everything that will eventually happen in the story.
Make. It. Short. And. Concise. [Agent A is with you on this one, Agent R!]
Long titles are not so good (but hey! I have a five word title *smiles innocently* but it gives away nothing). Long titles that give away your plot is even worse.
Long titles that give away your plot and sound so absurd you may as well as gawk at the story in shock is the absolute worst. Please, under any circumstances, just don't give away the whole plot in the first sentence your readers see!
Agent J here, and it's about time too.
I can not agree with you more, Agent R. Long titles are irritating especially if they give away the plot. (Even though I am also guilty to have a five word title *giggles*)
Another thing that really bugs me is punctuation in titles. Is it really bothersome to add tiny details to your title? Because I don't think it can possibly be that hard to do so. For example, 'Who are you', 'Where am I', 'Why am I here' does it not piss you off that there is no question mark?
How about uncapitalized titles?
They drive me crazy.
I don't even bother clicking on such titles. I mean, come on, how much energy do you possibly waste by clicking the CAPs button?
Want to know what's worst?
Titles without proper wordings and that are exaggerated like 'l00k @ my @ss!!!' man, take a chill pill, relax on the exclaimation marks, but what really annoys me is the fact that their stories get a hundred times more reads than properly written ones. It's just not fair to the other wattpadders.
Now let's move on to common titles.
Does everyone seriously lack creativity?
How many romance stories are called 'I'm in love with the bad boy/nerd/cheerleader/jock/whatever'?
Yeah, the numbers are quite shocking. We all know they're bound to be about some high school related thing, and it basically already tells us who the MC ends up with. Some story.
Agent A speaks. . . (I planned NOT to talk in this rant at all but I received a death threat saying, "You better rant or else, it'll be 'Neglected by Agent A'" or something along those lines. .)
MAD RANT ON. .
"OMG I HAVE A HOT BOYFRIEND!" "MOM! THERE'S A PERVERT MAN OUTSIDE AND I FELL IN LOVE WITH HIM!" "YOUR MY BESTFRIEND. YOU LOVE ME. I LOVE YOU BACK. YOUR NOT MY BOYYFRIEND!!!!!"
TITLES!
Yes, you heard me right! Titles! When I was first starting on my writing years back, I have read somewhere in the internet that titles hold the soul of the book.
The soul!
Frickin' soul!
Knowing this, you intend to give your book these kind of awful titles? *le gasp* Shame on you! What's your difference from those mothers who can't be bothered to be creative and name their infants a proper name?!
Who. The. Hell. Will name their books and make it sound so amateur-ish? None, right?
WRONG!
People, please. I dare you to click that Discover (it's my favorite, you noticed? Meh! I was betrayed and scorned!) and enlighten yourself to the wonders AND horrors of wattpad. Reading those titles make me flinch and cringe enough, but seeing their frickin' reads? OMG! What's wrong with you? Have you actually lost your mind or (No offense) you're just as stupid as those authors who used THE titles.
Well, I guess it can't be helped. Stupid titles for stupid readers from stupid authors. Yes, you saw that right. I used stupid three times. (I'm a pro, that's why!) Pardon the offensive words, readers, but seriously. If you happen to read that kind of title, don't you shudder and quickly run away from "Le said story"?
Or maybe you're like me. *grins* You open the story to humour your self and see how funny and true to its title the story is. If that's the case, I love you so much, reader! Yes, you! No, not the one behind you, you! Oops? There's no one behind you? My bad :D :troll face:
Well, back to the said topic. How to choose a good title, you ask? Why are you asking me? You're writing the story! But a tip of advice, (take it from me! I'm a lazy author who can't be bothered choosing right titles.) let the title come to you naturally. You need not know it at the very first chapter. You can go and write about the whole book and soon, you'll find yourself discovering it as though the book named itself. There are also cases wherein titles didn't come until the anticipated ending. So please, love your book and spare it the embarrassment. Let it name itself or if you insist on naming it, go get a dictionary and start finding good titles!
Some of you might say, "Meh! What's she saying?" "Sounds crap!" Well, guess what? I. DON'T. CARE. It's true in my case and for those people out there who love their stories like their own children.
Let me ask you this:
Which is better?
Le Agent A saying romantic things or the epic titles who just screamed to be clicked upon?
Well, that's for you to decide :DDDDD
PS. DO ME A FAVOUR AND CHOOSE AGENT A, OR ELSE, I'LL HAVE YOU AS MY NEXT TARGET. *WINKS*
-
So? What do you guys think? Comment what your opinions are :D
Piece of challenge: try to make up a horrible title and let's see who'll win. :D
-
-Mad rant by Agent R
-Finally, a rant from Agent J
-Forced rant from Agent A
- FOR THE NEXT UPDATE, WE NEED 500 VOTES AND READS! OR ELSE, WE'LL START TO THINK YOU DON'T LOVE OUR RANTS AND GO SULK IN A CORNER AND DELETE IT!
LOL, KIDDING :D THAT'S FOR OUR NEXT TARGET, "HOSTAGE-VOTING". Enjoyed the teaser?
See you, targets!
YOU ARE READING
WattRant 101 - The Agents' Wrath
RandomSo you think you've escaped our keen eyes? Guess what. You didn't. This is the secret records of our targets. Beware, you might just be one of them.
