myriad; sidemen

TWO. LAU

the whole spiral started with a viral video.

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@ladbible: Girl falls off old pier into the sea! You'll never guess what happens next....

— with @deathlies

(11th of March, 2017)

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"Right, so today's This Week On The Internet begins with this absolute crease." Will Lenney began. "I know it's The Lad Bible so yous will have to forgive me but this video is nuts."

Will presses play on the video on his screen, already starting to chuckle at what he knew was about to happen.

The video was Lau's, one she'd edited and sent in to The Lad Bible for over two hundred pounds. The video was of her flatmate Mollie being clumsy when they were down south to visit someone, and were both drunk. Lau edited it together to get the best parts.

Will narrates through it. "Right, so we have this girl here on this pretty old pier, like look yous can see the boards are rotting. Like, that's already not a good idea?

"Anyways this girl is shouting to her mate on the camera here that she can jump onto some rocks nearby." He looks into the camera.

"Like, I'm sorry, but, when would you ever think that was a good idea? You lot, if you haven't seen the video yet, can clearly guess what's gonna happen," he says as he presses play, "oh, and she's in the water. What a surprise."

He laughs a bit. "This one really isn't that smart, like. And the girl behind the camera is just creasing instead of helping." Will's accent was prominent as he spoke.

"But that's not the best part, right." Will promises, trying to hold back his laughter. The mirth is clear in his voice. "So a usual video would end there, but the person behind the camera has clearly decided it would be a good idea to drag the poor girl... to a pub."

He pauses for dramatic effect, intending to zoom in on the screen. "But that's clearly not a good idea, and I don't know how she didn't see that. The next clip is them trying to find dry clothes in their car for the girl who took a surprise swim, and they found... a dog towel."

He looks to the camera and presses his lips together to stop his smile. It doesn't work and he hangs his head in laughter.

"So the mate has just thought it would be a good idea to go to a pub in a furry coat, right, and a dog towel. Like where would you ever think that would be a suitable plan? Just don't go out? And, well, as you can probably tell, it wasn't a good idea."

Will shows the part where the dirty blue dog towel, clipped in place at the girl's side, slides around until the gap reached her rear. It would have exposed her bum to everyone had the censored sign not been put there by the girl who had edited the video.

Lau, behind the camera, laughed so much she dropped it, and yet they still carried on walking to the pub. Lau had video evidence of Mollie pulling the towel around to make her somewhat decent again.

"I wanna see their dog, man. He'd probably be smarter than these two girls, like." Will laughed as he paused the video.

"How many times do yous reckon I've said 'that's not a good idea' already? Too much," he laughed again. "But it makes for a good crease."