Thugged Out 4: Real Life

TWENTY TWO- Every Kinda Way

LALA IN THE MEDIA (B4 some of y'all start bitching about how she look girly, LALA IS STILL A GIRL Y'ALL and I didn't want her actual face to look like it belongs to a male so imagine her in boy clothes and acting like one. I had to say this cause some of u hoes will complain about any damn thing like the sky being blue. And I wanted her 2 look like a mixture of both parents too.)

Quick statement: Some of y'all have been hating the female characters from the jump 4 the same shit that the niggas do but nobody complains about the niggas lol. Why is that?

& All y'all that blew my social media and inbox up about the update that I accidentally published better comment lmfao

"I bet you love me more after the first fuck. I bet I love you better than your first love. I bet I love you so much you forget the shit that had you worked up, yeah. I bet I love you more than I can say to you. Something bout you makes me wanna lay with you but only for the night." - 6LACK × JHENE AIKO

ANT

I'm so damn stressed out right now. I ain't really out the country like I told Jessica I was going. I'm in a hotel suite at the Ritz-Carlton in New Orleans. I told Jessica I would be gone out the country for only two days but I've really been here longer than that. I've been here for two weeks but Imma more than likely fly back to California on my private jet in an hour or two unless I change my mind and stay here longer.

There at home, it's always some diffrrent bullshit. I got my shit with Reign, I'm focused on getting the fuck out the drug game altogether, my kids stress me out as a whole, and the biggest issue is Jessica. She always in my ear hollering about some different bullshit. That's my day one and I love the fuck out of her but she got me under a whole lot of pressure. 

I feel like all my damn anger and depression is trying to creep back up on my ass. I don't think she even  realize all her bitching and yelling only be adding fuel to the fire. After Reign left with Miguel, Jessica went ape shit on my ass for cutting Reign off like that, so here the fuck  I am. I had to get away from her. I really be needing a break from her crazy  ass at times for  real. We haven't even talked at all since I left.

I'm out on the room balcony getting high. Even weed ain't helping me out of my depression I feel though. I feel arms wrap around me from behind. "Dominique, what you doing?" I ask, turning around and looking at her. She bites her bottom lip. "Are you about to smoke your life away or come back inside of the room?" she asks me.

"Why you wrapping your arms around me and shit?" I ask her, stepping away from her. "I just felt like you needed the comfort." she answers. "Naw, I don't need shit from yo ass." I say. "Whatever, Ant." she says. "Yeah. Just don't be doing all that. I'm married, Dominique." I remind her. "You're married but here you are in New Orleans in a suite at a five star hotel with me while your little ghetto wife is in California thinking you're somewhere else." she says.

"Mane, you not finna talk yo bullshit about my wife." I say. "Ant, whatever. Does she know I'm in a suite with you?" she asks. "Obviously not." I answer. "What if I tell her?" she asks. "Then imma just shoot yo childish ass in the throat. You too old for that high school ass bullshit. Imma tell her my damn self anyway." I answer. "Whatever." she says, rolling her eyes.

"You know what we here for anyways." I say. "You said you were coming here to New Orleans to catch up on old things and to spend time with Morgan and Michelle. When are you going to read the DNA test results?" she asks. "I'm not." I answer truthfully. "You not? For what?" she asks. "I just can't do it right now." I answer, sighing.

The results came back but I haven't opened that shit at all. Part of me believe they mine but that other part of me is damn sure hoping they ain't. I know me and Jessica were young as fuck when Dominique was pregnant but that don't change how hurt and awkward the shit will be for her and the rest of my kids if they do end up being my daughters. It'll be weird as fuck for me too. I don't show no favoritism with my kids but if Morgan and Michelle end up being mine, I probably won't ever love them at all,  honestly.