Thugged Out 4: Real Life

NINETEEN- Ice Melts

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"Look, I want you to myself. But I know you just left someone else. I know you did, he did a number on you. That must be why you move so, icy. Icy like 1017." - Drake

CRUISE DAY 7: FUN DAY AT SEA (PART 2)

JESSICA

My whole body is full of fear. I know Ant has changed and won't intentionally hurt me again but I still can't get rid of all of the fear inside of me right now. After he forced Reign and I out of the club and left me, I didn't know what to say or do. I have been out for about two hours and literally everything except the casino, pizza place, and nightclub are closed this late. A lot of people are still out being happy and enjoying themselves but I'm the only person out shaking, uncomfortable, and scared as hell.

I did not mean to piss Ant off in the club. I didn't even expect him to get so angry about me getting in the contest. He told me not to do it earlier in a joking way but when the contest actually started, he didn't bother to stop me when I walked in the circle so I figured he was fine with it. That's why I could not understand what he was so mad about. Then, he hollered about how I was all on Montana. That's some bullshit. I have a whole lot of love for Montana because he helped me when I was completely down but that doesn't matter. I don't care about how much love I have for that man. I'm not cheating on Ant when I'm in love with everything about the man he became. I can't believe he even thinks I'd do that.

I know I need to be heading to the room before he really starts thinking the worse. I'm outside on Deck eleven sitting at one of the tables watching the crew cleanup the Lido deck beside the swimming pool. Maybe, I should just go on and face Ant and call it a night.

I stand up then take a deep breath. Damn, here comes Montana. He's walking right over to this table and it seems like he was out here looking for me. He has a straight face, as usual and he's still dressed in what he was wearing in the club earlier. "Hey." I greet him as he walks closer. He gives me a side hug. "Do you ever smile, Montana?" I ask, laughing a little bit, trying to hide how I'm feeling right now. Montana does keep a straight face though. "I smile when I think of you." he answers.

I narrow my eyes at him. "Why are you being corny and flirty towards me right now? You know I got a man." I say. "Do you?" he asks, raising his eyebrow and smirking at me. "You know I do and I'm in love too." I answer, rolling my eyes at him. I don't even know why he acting like he don't know what's going on. I haven't been involved with him sexually in years. He ain't getting none of this ever again.

"I'm just playing around, Jessica. You got so damn mean over the years." he says, laughing as he walks beside me. "How am I mean?" I ask. "You just don't even care about what you say like you used to." he answers. I sigh. "That's life. What's the point in holding my thoughts in? Consider my thoughts farts. They're better out than in." I say, making him laugh. "That shit sounded so nasty." he says.

I'm laughing now. "You're right. That was nasty." I agree with him. That was horrible now that I'm thinking about it. I should've kept that one to myself. "It's cool. What you been up to lately, Jessica?" he asks. "Nothing, just typical wife duties and my business." I answer. I'm always sitting in meetings and overseeing certain things so I never have time to make myself happy. All I do is flip Ant's constant drug money cash flow into franchises or other businesses to clean up the money for him. I finally took a little time to get my haircare and makeup product line together and now, I sell out regularly and bring in a lot of money by myself. That feels good.